Oh, nothing. Just sobbing while I read this paragraph from an academic paper over and over again.
"…Most trans women know that their perception of themselves, that their own ideas of their self, are not always trustworthy. In a society built on foundational trans-antagonism, and suffused with narratives of trans femininity as inherently fraudulent and unloveable it simply hard for a trans woman to feel secure enough to be the source of her own affirmation. This is why external, community-based relationships are so vital for sustaining trans life. As Jules Gleeson notes, many of us receive our gendered, sexed sense of self not from personal identity work, but through participation in networks of mutual care, love, and affirmation with other trans people, who are far more likely to gift us with unconditional recognition than we are ourselves."