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@glyph One annoyance is that Bedrock updates frequently, usually in the background. Need to update Geyser at minimum, sometimes Floodgate as well. ViaVersion is the Java equivalent.

As for updating the server itself, Paper's a bit easier. Just download a new copy over paper.jar, update plugins to latest, restart server. Auto-updating plugins is a bad idea for security reasons, I manually update monthly (or if kids complain, just do ViaVersion/Geyser/Floodgate). Geyser/Floodgate updates can be automated via wget/curl and some manual scripting. Modrinth has an excellent API that others have hooked into, here's a Fabric auto-updater that looks sensible: https://github.com/SushiSanCat/ModrinthCollectionDownloader

@glyph No preference between Paper or Fabric? A quick guide for the latter:

1. Download Fabric Installer from https://fabricmc.net/use/server/ , follow docs to install.
2. Head to https://modrinth.com/mods , download Fabric API, Sodium, and Lithium into mods directory.
3. Head to https://geysermc.org/download/?project=geyser , download Fabric versions of Geyser and Floodgate into mods.
4. Launch it all. Log in with Minecraft via local network. Use the server-side console to make yourself an /op and enable a /whitelist.
5. Expose TCP/25565 and UDP/19132 to the internet.
6. Use /fwhitelist to add Bedrock players, partial docs here: https://geysermc.org/wiki/floodgate/faq/

Paper is slightly easier, skip step 2 and use Paper/Spigot plugins instead. Download: https://papermc.io/downloads/paper

@glyph I've set that up a few times, and currently maintain it on two servers. I'm using Paper instead of vanilla+Fabric, though, which may not match your scenario.