"On the seventh day of November, the community lost two men, John Lyford and Charles Chauncey. For those two had nutted, and were no longer of good use to the men’s task."
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-story-of-the-first-no-nut-november
McSweeney's
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"On the seventh day of November, the community lost two men, John Lyford and Charles Chauncey. - 
"As if the dancing weren’t enough, when my kids yell 'HEAVY,' I’m expected to pantomime that whatever I’m holding is unbearably heavy."As if the dancing weren’t enough, when my kids yell 'HEAVY,' I’m expected to pantomime that whatever I’m holding is unbearably heavy. That works fine with a pen. It’s even manageable with a cup of hot coffee. But when holding your best friend’s newborn?"
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/an-open-letter-to-blueys-parents-please-stop