So while I was posting this it turns out my gf in fact in the other room with the hacksaw, and I had mostly posted all of this to try and dissuade her from getting the hacksaw out and use a more subtle approach but long story short we have gin now
PSA: paracetomol/acetaminophen/tylenol obviously does not cause autism but it's a medicine you need to be very, very careful about taking no more than the rexommended dose, even slightly. Overdose can cause liver damage or failure.