I am not an addict.

[afreytes@mastodon.gamedev.place]

I am not an addict.

When I was very small, I was confused because of the two grandmothers. And my sister, bless her heart, explained it to me thus, "Your grandmother is your father's mother, and your granma is your mother's mother."

The word difference made all the sense to me. Because my grandmother was a tall huge amazon, and my granma a tiny white cherub."

[afreytes@mastodon.gamedev.place]

When my father was a teenage boy, my grandfather let him, and my grandmother... and several more uncles and aunts. And went on to form another family, in the same town.

My father had to leave school. And work in the cane fields. To support my grandmother and his siblings. By the time my father, who wasn't yet 20, married my mother, who wasn't yet 18, my father was already a smoker.

And a little later on he picked up alcohol, along with all my uncles from both sides of the family.

[afreytes@mastodon.gamedev.place]

By the time I was born he was already alcoholic. When I was a teen, by the time I came home from school, my father would be already drunk.

For many many many years, I thought it was my fault that he was an alcoholic. Maybe it wasn't all my fault, but most of it.

So I tried to do well in school, I did well because I like reading, so I tried to do s much reading as I could to learn as much as I could. And soon picked up an interest in computers.

[afreytes@mastodon.gamedev.place]

And my father, bless his heart, got me a computer. A used C64 with a bunch of books, I read them all and used the computer day and night.

I didn't smoke a cigarette until after my father died. I would drink a beer now and then if a cousin offered it on family occasions. But I never bought a single beer with my own money until I got divorced.

I only try hard alcohol if a date offers it. Almost never finish any of them.

I am not an addict.

But...

[afreytes@mastodon.gamedev.place]

This is my third glass of diet soda at 3AM. I had one at 2AM. And the first one at 1AM.

And I have been using a computer for well over 12 hours now. For work, for doom, and for entertainment.

I am not an addict because I'm very good at picking vices.

I am not an addict... But I have all the signs.

[stingraybadger@zirk.us]

@afreytes

You might not be a soda addict, you might have diabetes?

https://www.diabetes.org.uk/about-diabetes/symptoms

[theshellytea@mastodon.art]

@afreytes ❤️