I hate it when people are bigoted but with an exception.

[faithisleaping@anarres.family]

I hate it when people are bigoted but with an exception.

A clearly racist person who is fine because they have a black friend.

Parents of a gay person who are all like, "I love my son and his boyfriend" but still think gay people in movies or on television is too much.

The family of a trans person who use the right name and pronouns to their face but still maintain bigoted theology or participate in organizations that are actively seeking their elimination from society.

You don't get to say you're not racist unless you love black and immigrant communities. You don't get to say you're not homophobic or transphobic unless you embrace the LGBTQ+ community. And yes, that includes the weird parts and the parts that make you uncomfortable.

And if you're just "embracing" those communities so you can earn your "ally" badge from your local Good White Liberals chapter, you can also fuck right off.

[matildalove@wetdry.world]

i was once told h.p. lovecraft got "less racist" later in life bc he started admitting some group or another wasn't totally inferior

and i was all "no.. he just revised the parameters a little"

[burnoutqueen@todon.nl]

@faithisleaping I love black and immigrant communities. My grandma's family was an immigrant family. I feel at home with immigrants

[theogrin@chaosfem.tw]

@faithisleaping

To those who are supposedly not hateful towards us, who pretend to be polite and reasonable in our company:

You think we can't hear the words you swallow. We can. We absolutely can hear the epithets you're choking back. And it's insulting as hell to think that we're so blind to your loathing, as though we haven't any more empathy than a sock puppet.

And when we hear that hate, we know that you're going to go out and put on a white hood and burn a cross on someone's lawn, or attend a strike against a Planned Parenthood, or burn a book about two penguins raising a chick because it's against your sensibilities.

We know you're not an ally. You're just trying to be socially acceptable, and the moment you have the opportunity and the excuse, you'll be happily telling everyone how horrible we are.

[pepperqt@tech.lgbt]

@faithisleaping It also helps to approach it like a spectrum over a binary. It is not you either are or aren't. It is upbringing and environment, exposure to propaganda, tropes and hatred, and from that point on the active choice to unlearn and catch yourself recognising the bias in your thoughts.
Considering yourself -phobic or an ally is really just label stuff that really does not matter as much as the actions.