It's the Fesshole/Vagina Museum crossover event you've all been waiting for.
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It's the Fesshole/Vagina Museum crossover event you've all been waiting for. Tons of you tagged us into this across all of our socials, asking for a fact-check. The consensus of the reply guys is that it Didn't Happen. However, this is in fact very possible. Here's why...
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It's the Fesshole/Vagina Museum crossover event you've all been waiting for. Tons of you tagged us into this across all of our socials, asking for a fact-check. The consensus of the reply guys is that it Didn't Happen. However, this is in fact very possible. Here's why...
Regardless of whether you have a penis or a vagina, everyone has a pelvic floor. It's a bowl of muscles at, well, the floor of the pelvis. There's two gaps in the pelvic floor - one where the anus comes out, and a urogenital one. If you have a vagina, the vagina and urethra both exit here.
The human pelvic floor has a couple of very important jobs. First and foremost, is keeping your internal organs inside you. The other is ensuring that peeing and pooing stays under your control.
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Regardless of whether you have a penis or a vagina, everyone has a pelvic floor. It's a bowl of muscles at, well, the floor of the pelvis. There's two gaps in the pelvic floor - one where the anus comes out, and a urogenital one. If you have a vagina, the vagina and urethra both exit here.
The human pelvic floor has a couple of very important jobs. First and foremost, is keeping your internal organs inside you. The other is ensuring that peeing and pooing stays under your control.
Some common events put extra pressure on the pelvic floor. This includes coughing, sneezing, and a big ol' bark of laughter. In these instances, the pelvic floor needs to work a little harder, and it will squeeze. Usually this happens without any intervention from you. It's a useful reflex, because it prevents your internal organs from falling out.
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Some common events put extra pressure on the pelvic floor. This includes coughing, sneezing, and a big ol' bark of laughter. In these instances, the pelvic floor needs to work a little harder, and it will squeeze. Usually this happens without any intervention from you. It's a useful reflex, because it prevents your internal organs from falling out.
Digression: The pelvic floor is also supposed to stop you from peeing when you laugh, cough or sneeze. Sometimes muscle tone isn't strong enough to catch this all the time. This might happen due to age, or having given birth vaginally, or something being really fucking funny so there's extra stress on the pelvic floor.. Strength can often be rebuilt through exercising the pelvic floor.
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Digression: The pelvic floor is also supposed to stop you from peeing when you laugh, cough or sneeze. Sometimes muscle tone isn't strong enough to catch this all the time. This might happen due to age, or having given birth vaginally, or something being really fucking funny so there's extra stress on the pelvic floor.. Strength can often be rebuilt through exercising the pelvic floor.
Anyway, the most pertinent information in assessing the veracity of the twat cannon post is that pelvic floors squeeze involuntarily when you laugh.
And now let's talk about physics.
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Anyway, the most pertinent information in assessing the veracity of the twat cannon post is that pelvic floors squeeze involuntarily when you laugh.
And now let's talk about physics.
Have you ever had an experience where you try to grab a wet bar of soap with wet hands and it shoots clean out of your hand and across the shower? If you haven't, give this a go. Take the soap in your hand, and squeeze it just a little too hard. It flies right out.
Slippery, moist, smooth, rigid things will often go WHOOSH if squeezy force is applied. (sorry, we're a Vagina Museum, not a phyics museum)
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Have you ever had an experience where you try to grab a wet bar of soap with wet hands and it shoots clean out of your hand and across the shower? If you haven't, give this a go. Take the soap in your hand, and squeeze it just a little too hard. It flies right out.
Slippery, moist, smooth, rigid things will often go WHOOSH if squeezy force is applied. (sorry, we're a Vagina Museum, not a phyics museum)
When you squeeze your pelvic floor, you're essentially closing the holes in it. If the thing is small and completely inside the vagina, such as a menstrual cup, squeezing the pelvic floor might push it further up inside you.
But if something is rigid and slippery and at the entrance of the vagina, the laws of physics dictate a squeeze will probably push it out, possibly quite an alarming distance.
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When you squeeze your pelvic floor, you're essentially closing the holes in it. If the thing is small and completely inside the vagina, such as a menstrual cup, squeezing the pelvic floor might push it further up inside you.
But if something is rigid and slippery and at the entrance of the vagina, the laws of physics dictate a squeeze will probably push it out, possibly quite an alarming distance.
Remember: the pelvic floor is, on a day-to-day basis, carrying around at the very least the weight of your intestines (about 3.5 kilos). If you're pregnant, it supports the whole weight of that, too. These muscles are *strong*. Something smooth and slippery doesn't stand a chance.
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Remember: the pelvic floor is, on a day-to-day basis, carrying around at the very least the weight of your intestines (about 3.5 kilos). If you're pregnant, it supports the whole weight of that, too. These muscles are *strong*. Something smooth and slippery doesn't stand a chance.
It is also worth noting that a tool such as a speculum as it's inserted, a vaginal dilator or certain designs of sex toy are nearly the perfect shape to be shot out quite some distance when lubricated. They're basically shaped like vagina-compatible bullets.
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It is also worth noting that a tool such as a speculum as it's inserted, a vaginal dilator or certain designs of sex toy are nearly the perfect shape to be shot out quite some distance when lubricated. They're basically shaped like vagina-compatible bullets.
So, to conclude, yes, you probably could clonk your gynaecologist round the head with a speculum if they made you laugh at precisely the wrong moment. Which is why a lot of gynaecologists won't make a joke when the speculum and their head are in the danger zone.
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So, to conclude, yes, you probably could clonk your gynaecologist round the head with a speculum if they made you laugh at precisely the wrong moment. Which is why a lot of gynaecologists won't make a joke when the speculum and their head are in the danger zone.
@vagina_museum OK, I'm never going to remember the name for these*, but those carvings over doorways in the British Isles, of women doubling over and holding their vulva open?
I think I just figured out that it's a warning sign.
*Thanks to @caity for reminding me that the name is Sheela na gig.
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So, to conclude, yes, you probably could clonk your gynaecologist round the head with a speculum if they made you laugh at precisely the wrong moment. Which is why a lot of gynaecologists won't make a joke when the speculum and their head are in the danger zone.
Just about the only Didn't Happen element of the twat cannon post is that forcibly ejecting a speculum at someone's head would be very unlikely to knock them out, as a plastic speculum is too light to accelerate to sufficient force at close quarters for a knockout, even with a direct headshot.
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@vagina_museum OK, I'm never going to remember the name for these*, but those carvings over doorways in the British Isles, of women doubling over and holding their vulva open?
I think I just figured out that it's a warning sign.
*Thanks to @caity for reminding me that the name is Sheela na gig.
@KatS @vagina_museum 1. How have I not heard of these in nearly half a century in these isles,
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@KatS @vagina_museum 1. How have I not heard of these in nearly half a century in these isles,
@KatS @vagina_museum 2. when I read this toot I initially pictured that the doorway itself was styled as the vaginal entrance and was doubly surprised I'd never heard of this
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Just about the only Didn't Happen element of the twat cannon post is that forcibly ejecting a speculum at someone's head would be very unlikely to knock them out, as a plastic speculum is too light to accelerate to sufficient force at close quarters for a knockout, even with a direct headshot.
@vagina_museum we still use metal specul...(...a? ), metal ones here... (Germany)
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@KatS @vagina_museum 2. when I read this toot I initially pictured that the doorway itself was styled as the vaginal entrance and was doubly surprised I'd never heard of this
@i_cannot_today @KatS we are THRILLED to inform you that a lot of church doors are in fact very related to vulvas https://masto.ai/@vagina_museum/110168921500052009
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Just about the only Didn't Happen element of the twat cannon post is that forcibly ejecting a speculum at someone's head would be very unlikely to knock them out, as a plastic speculum is too light to accelerate to sufficient force at close quarters for a knockout, even with a direct headshot.
@vagina_museum i wonder whether the cops have a ballistics expert for that kind of things...🤔🤔🤔
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@vagina_museum we still use metal specul...(...a? ), metal ones here... (Germany)
@Limnobotanik Probably also too light, although if it hit at the screw mechanism it might cause a cut or bruise...
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Just about the only Didn't Happen element of the twat cannon post is that forcibly ejecting a speculum at someone's head would be very unlikely to knock them out, as a plastic speculum is too light to accelerate to sufficient force at close quarters for a knockout, even with a direct headshot.
@vagina_museum
you've convinced me speculum queefing should be an olympic sport -
undefined Oblomov shared this topic
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@vagina_museum
you've convinced me speculum queefing should be an olympic sport@floppyplopper @vagina_museum also vagina-compatible bullet is my new favorite expression. But the Olympic sport shouldn't be stuff about specula. Let engineering evolve to design the optimal vagina-compatible bullet!
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undefined filobus shared this topic
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