What's with the seemingly uncontrollable urge of some guys to #MansplainWaterToFish?

[pluszysta@mastodon.online]

@alice I had a man explain to me once why the president of my city is a bad administrator. And he (the guy) was from some other town. 🫠

[chris@social.losno.co]

@alice I once got called out for doing this, and apparently it's frowned upon even when you're just apparently infodumping because you enjoy infodumping? I guess it's better for people who like infodumping to just shut up and never talk.

[rozeboosje@masto.ai]

@v @alice

Or remove the i, too:

Manplaning

When a man's inability to STFU when his opinion is unwanted leads to an inexorable slide toward his destruction.

[chris@social.losno.co]

@alice I also like to explain things I feel excited to know to other men, including my boyfriend, who vary in degrees of "already know this to an expert degree" to "can't possibly understand, but thanks for being so excited about it"

I'd post a blog instead of outright telling people to their faces, but invariably some actual expert would wander in to explain to me all the ways I got it wrong.

Better to just shut up and assume everyone else just already knows everything they ever want to know and hate things being repeated to them.

You know, the exact opposite of myself, someone who loves seeing things explained and can't get enough of people dumping on me.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@chris I don't think that's true. I'm sorry you got called out if you were just excited about a topic.

I personally think infodumping is cute, so long as they remember I'm part of the conversation too.

[chris@social.losno.co]

@alice Hell yes, I love when others are knowledgable in subjects, and knowing more than me, I can learn something new.

Though I assume it's not fair to be sponging off the knowledge of others if they put a hell of a lot more work and possibly money into acquiring that knowledge, especially if I'm not giving them something in return other than thanks for sharing knowledge.

[kats@chaosfem.tw]

@chris Infodumping becomes mansplaining when the person you're dumping to already knows about it, especially if said person isn't a man.

I've found questions like "how much do you already know about this topic?", "how familiar are you with this area?" and "this is a field of interest to me; can I share what I know?" to be very useful here.

It's not that infodumping is a bad thing in itself, just that sometimes it's unwelcome.
@alice

[chris@social.losno.co]

@KatS @alice Yeah, I usually only do it for subjects that are relevant to the current topic in a chat, or if it's related to the theme of the chat platform I'm mentioning it on. I don't usually try to dump on too many things unrelated to a discussion. And I don't try to dump on too many subjects outside of my personal interest of computer related subjects.

Though it did happen more than once that I was dumping on something that someone else present was a PhD or Masters in, and they immediately got annoyed.

If paying to get certified as an expert is required for one to be excited enough about a subject to spread that knowledge and not actually run into someone who already knows everything, then I guess I should stop talking to people. I'm too broken to want to participate in professional education beyond what the law requires me to do before I can drop out, take a test, and be done with it forever. I still have nightmares about being back in school, and they're not even social situations, they're all anxiety about doing busy work to meet deadlines, sitting in classes, trying to explain to a teacher why I only have a half finished paper to show for months worth of time otherwise spent dicking around on a computer. Never having the stones to say to anyone's face that I didn't want to do the assignment in the first place.

But that's too much spiraling for me already today, time to hit the hay.

[thejessiekirk@ohai.social]

@wakame Pigeons are fluffy and cute so they get away with it ☺️ @alice

[alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space]

@alice

Mansplain and manspread, two horrific diseases which need eradication...

[wtl@mastodon.social]

@alice I'm starting to wonder if mansplaining is some kind of biological imperative to demonstrate they're a worthy mate because they're smart. 🤔

I *love* explaining things - but I've (generally) learned to wait to be *asked* first.

[wtl@mastodon.social]

@v @alice 🤣

[captain_jack_sparrow@mastodon.world]

@v @alice

just for balance, #Femsplaining is also a thing.

[v@mastodon.catgirl.cloud]

@Captain_Jack_Sparrow @alice fine, have your own personalized version

[captain_jack_sparrow@mastodon.world]

@v @alice

lol!

[elleaster@ohai.social]

@Captain_Jack_Sparrow @v @alice You did not.

[captain_jack_sparrow@mastodon.world]

@Elleaster @v @alice

Sorry, but I did not what?

[v@mastodon.catgirl.cloud]

@Elleaster the captain did indeed, I'm afraid

@Captain_Jack_Sparrow @alice

[retreival9096@hachyderm.io]

@alice Maybe its "just" puffing up their chest and displaying their "mate-worthyness". The current world provides some reward for being knowledgeable, and for being confident. If I'm a male and (think) I have these properties, I should display them so prospective mates can take note

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@chris I've found that most folx who have significant expertise in something are usually excited when someone shows interest in their area of experience.

A lot of us would love to geek out about our special interest, both to new folx and to other experts.