My visa to green card journey: 7.5 years
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Everywhere I went, I noticed how my relatively easy path today was paved by activists before me.
That just a decade and a bit ago, an old lady named Edith sued the government over taxes, and that’s the reason why my wife was able to come here as my wife.
I met so many queer immigrants in their 60s who, when they came here, could not find ways to stay: their American partners could not sponsor them. Now it’s a matter of fact, even if some want to remove it.
I traveled across California in my jobs, and met and saw people and places marked by tragedy. Not just one, not dozens, but hundreds of sites of massacres and ‘suspicious fires’ that wiped out entire communities of Chinese Americans who faced horrible erasure and violence on the west coast.
That even as I feel relatively ‘settled’ here today as part of a group that seems to have some power here in the Bay Area, it wasn’t always that way.
@skinnylatte Yeah... Californians generally know NOTHING about everything that went on to target, dehumanize, and outright cull its immigrants from Asia, the lynchmobs and riots, the sheer extent of it all, the laws against marriage and immigration, etc. It is as though all public mention stopped at Japanese-American internment camps, and never dared to get more curious, when, if there hadn't been such nonsense, the state would probably be 1/3rd Asian American, if not more so.
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There are many, many things wrong with America. But I suppose why I, and 11-15 million immigrants every year (‘legal’), and many more ‘not’, still find our way here is that this country feels like an unfinished story.
And it is one of very few that says to people who were not born here, that you can write whatever you want on it as well. *
* with caveats. And carve-outs.
@skinnylatte i appreciate you saying this against the backdrop of people saying that the US is, as the youth say, cooked
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There are many, many things wrong with America. But I suppose why I, and 11-15 million immigrants every year (‘legal’), and many more ‘not’, still find our way here is that this country feels like an unfinished story.
And it is one of very few that says to people who were not born here, that you can write whatever you want on it as well. *
* with caveats. And carve-outs.
I actually remember having a conversation with a friend a decade ago. She was also in her ‘just got a green card’ phase. There’s a period before that where it’s best you don’t leave the country.
As someone who was in many countries a week at the time, I asked: was it worth it? She said yes
All through my last year of literally not being able to leave (again, there are carve-outs for emergencies), I asked: is this going to be worth it?
I think that in 2017, when I first met my wife, I couldn’t have imagined what our life together would look like. At the time, it looked like endless cohabitation and visa runs to each other’s countries.
Today, in 2026: I think it was worth it.
It was very difficult, but it was worth it.
She’s about to graduate and become a psychotherapist; she’s had world class training.
I’m about to start another company. Being here, as a permanent resident, will also change the form and shape of the type of company that I’m able to build this time.
Most of all, it is very common for us to see queer people of color in their 60s, 70s and 80s and beyond. It is easy for me to see what type of lives they have built; what is possible for me.
Without coming here, I would have imagined that being an older queer person meant sadness and isolation, not joy and community (and legal recognition).
-
I actually remember having a conversation with a friend a decade ago. She was also in her ‘just got a green card’ phase. There’s a period before that where it’s best you don’t leave the country.
As someone who was in many countries a week at the time, I asked: was it worth it? She said yes
All through my last year of literally not being able to leave (again, there are carve-outs for emergencies), I asked: is this going to be worth it?
I think that in 2017, when I first met my wife, I couldn’t have imagined what our life together would look like. At the time, it looked like endless cohabitation and visa runs to each other’s countries.
Today, in 2026: I think it was worth it.
It was very difficult, but it was worth it.
She’s about to graduate and become a psychotherapist; she’s had world class training.
I’m about to start another company. Being here, as a permanent resident, will also change the form and shape of the type of company that I’m able to build this time.
Most of all, it is very common for us to see queer people of color in their 60s, 70s and 80s and beyond. It is easy for me to see what type of lives they have built; what is possible for me.
Without coming here, I would have imagined that being an older queer person meant sadness and isolation, not joy and community (and legal recognition).
Congratulations, Adrianna
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I actually remember having a conversation with a friend a decade ago. She was also in her ‘just got a green card’ phase. There’s a period before that where it’s best you don’t leave the country.
As someone who was in many countries a week at the time, I asked: was it worth it? She said yes
All through my last year of literally not being able to leave (again, there are carve-outs for emergencies), I asked: is this going to be worth it?
I think that in 2017, when I first met my wife, I couldn’t have imagined what our life together would look like. At the time, it looked like endless cohabitation and visa runs to each other’s countries.
Today, in 2026: I think it was worth it.
It was very difficult, but it was worth it.
She’s about to graduate and become a psychotherapist; she’s had world class training.
I’m about to start another company. Being here, as a permanent resident, will also change the form and shape of the type of company that I’m able to build this time.
Most of all, it is very common for us to see queer people of color in their 60s, 70s and 80s and beyond. It is easy for me to see what type of lives they have built; what is possible for me.
Without coming here, I would have imagined that being an older queer person meant sadness and isolation, not joy and community (and legal recognition).
I have an aunt who moved to New York City 40 years ago and never left. I asked her what she thought about leaving Singapore / coming to NYC.
She said, in Singapore I would have had all of that and in New York I have all of *this*. It’s never the same. But my family is here, so this is where I am. Of course I think of what I left behind but that’s not real, that’s not my actual life. My life is here now.
She told me this in 2012. When I first contemplated moving here (it took me 6 more years to do it)
We’re on the opposite ends of this country. I saw her recently in New York City.
At some point she just said, I like that nobody gets in my business here. I don’t think I can go back to Singapore for that reason.
I laughed, and said, same, auntie
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My visa to green card journey: 7.5 years
Most people like me come to the United States on H-1Bs. Those cost 100K now (borne by employer).
I am Singaporean so I always had an alternative (H-1B1). Those are shorter, non-immigrant intent, but much easier to obtain (I don’t know of any qualified Singaporean who has ever been rejected.. other than some Singaporeans born in China who are subject to more scrutiny)
It was not easy to get new jobs on any visa between 2018 and 2024, and it’s even harder now.
In 2024, I switched to an O-1 visa (person of extraordinary ability), and in 2025 I had two green cards approved (EB-1A and EB-2 NIW). I applied for my own EB-1A, that’s the only employment green card you can ‘self-petition’ without an employer.
We arrived in Aug / Sept 2018, and received our physical green cards in March 2026.
Based on friends and family’s experience, I knew in 2018 that I was working with a 10 year timeline to get it done, ideally.
It required that I keep jobs for long enough (being laid off means you have to leave within 60 days, or file for a new visa within that time); have excellent immigration counsel (I always retained my own, separate from any employer-provided attorney, as I wanted someone who had my best interests).
It was 7 years of paperwork, flights back ‘home’, doing everything right, and finally having enough money and executive function to sort it all out.
@skinnylatte congratulations!
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I have an aunt who moved to New York City 40 years ago and never left. I asked her what she thought about leaving Singapore / coming to NYC.
She said, in Singapore I would have had all of that and in New York I have all of *this*. It’s never the same. But my family is here, so this is where I am. Of course I think of what I left behind but that’s not real, that’s not my actual life. My life is here now.
She told me this in 2012. When I first contemplated moving here (it took me 6 more years to do it)
We’re on the opposite ends of this country. I saw her recently in New York City.
At some point she just said, I like that nobody gets in my business here. I don’t think I can go back to Singapore for that reason.
I laughed, and said, same, auntie
-
My visa to green card journey: 7.5 years
Most people like me come to the United States on H-1Bs. Those cost 100K now (borne by employer).
I am Singaporean so I always had an alternative (H-1B1). Those are shorter, non-immigrant intent, but much easier to obtain (I don’t know of any qualified Singaporean who has ever been rejected.. other than some Singaporeans born in China who are subject to more scrutiny)
It was not easy to get new jobs on any visa between 2018 and 2024, and it’s even harder now.
In 2024, I switched to an O-1 visa (person of extraordinary ability), and in 2025 I had two green cards approved (EB-1A and EB-2 NIW). I applied for my own EB-1A, that’s the only employment green card you can ‘self-petition’ without an employer.
We arrived in Aug / Sept 2018, and received our physical green cards in March 2026.
Based on friends and family’s experience, I knew in 2018 that I was working with a 10 year timeline to get it done, ideally.
It required that I keep jobs for long enough (being laid off means you have to leave within 60 days, or file for a new visa within that time); have excellent immigration counsel (I always retained my own, separate from any employer-provided attorney, as I wanted someone who had my best interests).
It was 7 years of paperwork, flights back ‘home’, doing everything right, and finally having enough money and executive function to sort it all out.
@skinnylatte
Congratulations! 🥳
I’m glad you’re here. 🫂 -
My visa to green card journey: 7.5 years
Most people like me come to the United States on H-1Bs. Those cost 100K now (borne by employer).
I am Singaporean so I always had an alternative (H-1B1). Those are shorter, non-immigrant intent, but much easier to obtain (I don’t know of any qualified Singaporean who has ever been rejected.. other than some Singaporeans born in China who are subject to more scrutiny)
It was not easy to get new jobs on any visa between 2018 and 2024, and it’s even harder now.
In 2024, I switched to an O-1 visa (person of extraordinary ability), and in 2025 I had two green cards approved (EB-1A and EB-2 NIW). I applied for my own EB-1A, that’s the only employment green card you can ‘self-petition’ without an employer.
We arrived in Aug / Sept 2018, and received our physical green cards in March 2026.
Based on friends and family’s experience, I knew in 2018 that I was working with a 10 year timeline to get it done, ideally.
It required that I keep jobs for long enough (being laid off means you have to leave within 60 days, or file for a new visa within that time); have excellent immigration counsel (I always retained my own, separate from any employer-provided attorney, as I wanted someone who had my best interests).
It was 7 years of paperwork, flights back ‘home’, doing everything right, and finally having enough money and executive function to sort it all out.
@skinnylatte Congrats!!! 🎉🎉🎉
7.5 years is such an achievement, too. Our family's permanent residency took closer to that 10 year estimate. It's such a hard system to get through, even with all sorts of privileges.
-
I actually remember having a conversation with a friend a decade ago. She was also in her ‘just got a green card’ phase. There’s a period before that where it’s best you don’t leave the country.
As someone who was in many countries a week at the time, I asked: was it worth it? She said yes
All through my last year of literally not being able to leave (again, there are carve-outs for emergencies), I asked: is this going to be worth it?
I think that in 2017, when I first met my wife, I couldn’t have imagined what our life together would look like. At the time, it looked like endless cohabitation and visa runs to each other’s countries.
Today, in 2026: I think it was worth it.
It was very difficult, but it was worth it.
She’s about to graduate and become a psychotherapist; she’s had world class training.
I’m about to start another company. Being here, as a permanent resident, will also change the form and shape of the type of company that I’m able to build this time.
Most of all, it is very common for us to see queer people of color in their 60s, 70s and 80s and beyond. It is easy for me to see what type of lives they have built; what is possible for me.
Without coming here, I would have imagined that being an older queer person meant sadness and isolation, not joy and community (and legal recognition).
@skinnylatte good luck on the new biz!
-
My visa to green card journey: 7.5 years
Most people like me come to the United States on H-1Bs. Those cost 100K now (borne by employer).
I am Singaporean so I always had an alternative (H-1B1). Those are shorter, non-immigrant intent, but much easier to obtain (I don’t know of any qualified Singaporean who has ever been rejected.. other than some Singaporeans born in China who are subject to more scrutiny)
It was not easy to get new jobs on any visa between 2018 and 2024, and it’s even harder now.
In 2024, I switched to an O-1 visa (person of extraordinary ability), and in 2025 I had two green cards approved (EB-1A and EB-2 NIW). I applied for my own EB-1A, that’s the only employment green card you can ‘self-petition’ without an employer.
We arrived in Aug / Sept 2018, and received our physical green cards in March 2026.
Based on friends and family’s experience, I knew in 2018 that I was working with a 10 year timeline to get it done, ideally.
It required that I keep jobs for long enough (being laid off means you have to leave within 60 days, or file for a new visa within that time); have excellent immigration counsel (I always retained my own, separate from any employer-provided attorney, as I wanted someone who had my best interests).
It was 7 years of paperwork, flights back ‘home’, doing everything right, and finally having enough money and executive function to sort it all out.
@skinnylatte congratulations!!!
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“per un no sociale al referendum e contro il governo e la guerra imperialista”. sabato 14 marzo manifestazione nazionale a roma
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