True story: I once caught a 1.8lb crappie on 2lb test.
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True story: I once caught a 1.8lb crappie on 2lb test. At that time, the state record for crappie -- not brook crappie, lake crappie -- was just 2.1lbs. Fighting-ist fish I ever caught, and the single best day of my youthful fishing career.
I got my picture taken with it, a trivially small fish, in the newspaper. Somewhere I still have it, as I believe it was on my Mom's Hall of Shame newspaper clipping collection.
The one she proudly showed all my girlfriends, to deter the possibility of sex.
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True story: I once caught a 1.8lb crappie on 2lb test. At that time, the state record for crappie -- not brook crappie, lake crappie -- was just 2.1lbs. Fighting-ist fish I ever caught, and the single best day of my youthful fishing career.
I got my picture taken with it, a trivially small fish, in the newspaper. Somewhere I still have it, as I believe it was on my Mom's Hall of Shame newspaper clipping collection.
The one she proudly showed all my girlfriends, to deter the possibility of sex.
Mothers are clever like that.
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Mothers are clever like that.
True story: I was once suspended from school for 3 days. The vice-principal heard me utter a profanity, I believe it was "piss", but long time gone, I'm not sure.
He said, "Profanity is a mark of a small vocabulary." And I said, "Really? Cuz I'll match my vocabulary for your vocabulary, word for word, any time, anywhere, for any amount of money."
I was, of course, grounded until I was 40.
But an hour later, confined to my room, I heard her on the phone w/her friend, "And so *he* said ....".
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True story: I was once suspended from school for 3 days. The vice-principal heard me utter a profanity, I believe it was "piss", but long time gone, I'm not sure.
He said, "Profanity is a mark of a small vocabulary." And I said, "Really? Cuz I'll match my vocabulary for your vocabulary, word for word, any time, anywhere, for any amount of money."
I was, of course, grounded until I was 40.
But an hour later, confined to my room, I heard her on the phone w/her friend, "And so *he* said ....".
True story: I was medicated in the 3rd grade for being hyperactive. (It didn't help, of course, speed only helps actual hyperactive kids, and I wasn't one.) In the fourth grade, Lucille Davis -- I hope hope hope heaven is everything it's cracked up to be -- said, "Take him off the meds. He's not hyperactive, he's bored. I send him to the school library for five hours a day, and he never gets in trouble there."
Not every noisy problematic child is ill.
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True story: I was medicated in the 3rd grade for being hyperactive. (It didn't help, of course, speed only helps actual hyperactive kids, and I wasn't one.) In the fourth grade, Lucille Davis -- I hope hope hope heaven is everything it's cracked up to be -- said, "Take him off the meds. He's not hyperactive, he's bored. I send him to the school library for five hours a day, and he never gets in trouble there."
Not every noisy problematic child is ill.
(Important: I think ADHD in children is over-diagnosed. But it's not an imaginary problem, and it can be quite severe, and I have seen, multiple times, firsthand, how much speed can help those children who actually have the problem.)
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(Important: I think ADHD in children is over-diagnosed. But it's not an imaginary problem, and it can be quite severe, and I have seen, multiple times, firsthand, how much speed can help those children who actually have the problem.)
True story: I was made to wear a cardboard sign around my neck, learning third grade Spanish.
It was a big cardboard mouth, and it had the words "La Boca Grande" on it.
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True story: I was made to wear a cardboard sign around my neck, learning third grade Spanish.
It was a big cardboard mouth, and it had the words "La Boca Grande" on it.
I loved that woman, Mrs. N. She was beautiful.
She made me wear a cardboard sign around my neck.
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I loved that woman, Mrs. N. She was beautiful.
She made me wear a cardboard sign around my neck.
True story: I had a kidney infection at one point, which medication makes one pee very red, as long as you have the infection.
Another vice-principal, God I fucking hate vice-principals, came in to the bathroom, which was a trough, ya know.
And I am peeing what appears to be blood. It's not. It's just urine, infected urine, marked red by the meds.
But this awful little junior fascist shithead, he put his arm around me and asked me if I was okay.
This life is complicated.
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True story: I had a kidney infection at one point, which medication makes one pee very red, as long as you have the infection.
Another vice-principal, God I fucking hate vice-principals, came in to the bathroom, which was a trough, ya know.
And I am peeing what appears to be blood. It's not. It's just urine, infected urine, marked red by the meds.
But this awful little junior fascist shithead, he put his arm around me and asked me if I was okay.
This life is complicated.
True story: I have sung Sondheim's "Try To Remember" on stage in front of 300 people. Aged 12 I mean, solo I mean.
And, yes, yes, you fucking vultures, there were pictures, in the newspaper, and on the Wall of Shame.
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True story: I have sung Sondheim's "Try To Remember" on stage in front of 300 people. Aged 12 I mean, solo I mean.
And, yes, yes, you fucking vultures, there were pictures, in the newspaper, and on the Wall of Shame.
True story: if we can't tell our stories, however comical, however embarrassing, however horrific, however indeterminate, we can not form a proper "us".
Instead, we will form a new locus for othering.
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