Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[voiceofduum@mindly.social]

@futurebird during a power outage you can bridge the two ports to zap some ramen

[astronomy_a2z@mstdn.social]

@futurebird Because Universal Serial Buses powered by Love aren't as effecient as those powered by Microwaves.

[shadowfals@toot.cat]

@futurebird @jf_718

Power your anti-microwave vest and hat while watching the microwave cook your food, clay figurines, or anti-magic typing glove that's become saturated with vibes.

[bryanredeagle@beige.party]

@futurebird Phone defroster

[khleedril@cyberplace.social]

@admin @futurebird ... because you always do that on the kitchen worktop.

[leadore@sunny.garden]

@futurebird
To trick you into plugging your phone in so it can steal all the data on it and/or to appropriate the phone's online connectivity to phone home and upload all the recordings it made of your conversations.

Disclaimer: I have no idea if this is a right or wrong answer.

[patrikschoenfeldt@gruene.social]

@futurebird You are not allowed to connect the microwave to the mains when you use it in reversed operational mode (microwave to electric power). Thus, you need these USB power outlets.

[keithpjolley@discuss.systems]

@futurebird it's to help you cook your thanksgiving turkey. the other end goes into the thing that pops out when the turkey's done. yum! two ports so you can cook two turkeys.

[admin@mastodon.slightlycyberpunk.com]

@khleedril @futurebird I meant new control electronics *for the microwave* to replace that silly keypad and LCD; sorry if that wasn't clear :)

[thejacenallen@mastodon.social]

@futurebird hack the planet

[arti@mk.absturztau.be]

@futurebird@sauropods.win to upload your suscription key unlocking premium functions like lowering the power and turning the plate.

[bradr@infosec.exchange]

@glyph @futurebird

that usb port delivers enough power to cook the turkey

[rogerbw@discordian.social]

@futurebird Otherwise the front panel would be waterproof.

[shovemedia@triangletoot.party]

@futurebird some people prefer to attach a manual keyboard so they can punch in cook times with more thonk

[paulc@mstdn.social]

@futurebird For the mouse and keyboard.

[cachondo@defcon.social]

@futurebird so you can attach one of those old USB drives and ..
Wait for it ...
Burn your CDs!

[aud@fire.asta.lgbt]

@futurebird@sauropods.win you got a better way of turning a USB drive into a hot cache, I'd love to hear it

[doomed_daniel@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@futurebird
if your microwave is too small they allow you to plug in extra storage

[josh0@babka.social]

@futurebird so you can update the firmware to use AI.

[glitzersachen@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird

Before somebody pipes up and start talking about how (supposedly) unsafe it is to charge this way, let me address one hard truth:

Qi charging is for wimps.

You are not raw-dogging your charging if you don't have an air-gap of at least three meters between the charger and the device.

And yes, it scales up to the power required to charge or operate even a gaming laptop: After all, the klystron in a typical microwave can output between 600 and 1200 Watts. Have you ever seen a laptop power brick rated at more than 120W? See, there is still enough headspace to the ceiling. And if some day it's not sufficient, just buy a larger microwave. The industrial ones, for example, can output much more power.

Anyway I don't understand the use case of Qi: There is hardly any air-gap, millimeters instead of meters. With Qi you have to walk to the charger anyway to charge your device. What's the usefulness of this?

Would you accept a TV remote, where you have to walk to the screen and press the device to the screen in order to switch the program or change the volume? Not? Me neither. It's hard to believe people put up with this crap when it's about wireless charging.

So my advice: Go for the real thing. Use your microwave and make sure that your setup can at least bridge the room.