@DM_Ronin
option one: press *all* *the* *buttons* until I find which ones are mapped to :, q and ! (hoping that those keys *are* mapped to some button)
option two: get an usb keyboard from my handbag, connect it to those usb-port-looking things in the front, enter :q!
option three: program an arduino-like board to emulate a keyboard and send the keys [esc]:q! every time a button is pressed, connect *that* to the usb-port-looking thing in the front
I think option three is the most reasonable and likely to succeed one