I just tried Marmite for the first time, and I ask as a friend: what's wrong with you people?

[tek@freeradical.zone]

I just tried Marmite for the first time, and I ask as a friend: what's wrong with you people? Is peanut butter illegal where you live or something? Was a famine involved? Dire times and zombies, perhaps?

[cstross@wandering.shop]

@tek Hint: try layering it on your sandwich with (a) peanut butter, OR (b) really strong mature cheddar.

[tek@freeradical.zone]

@cstross People keep telling me to try it with peanut butter! Now I must, For Science™.

I'm intrigued by the cheddar idea, and I'll give it a go.

[cstross@wandering.shop]

@tek Just bear in mind Marmite is *strong*—treat it like a condiment, not a primary ingredient. (If you slather your food in it like jam or peanut butter you will regret it.)

[losttourist@social.chatty.monster]

@cstross @tek Charlie is of course pulling your leg here.

The proper way to deal with Marmite is to screw the top back onto the jar tightly, drop the whole damn thing in the rubbish (trash) and then preferably embark on a quest to Mordor to destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom. Just to make sure you never, ever have to encounter it again.

There's a reason the manufacturers use "I Hate Marmite" as one of their advertising slogans here in the UK. Really, they do.

[angusm@mastodon.social]

@tek @cstross Cheddar is a good choice. Spread thin over melted butter on crumpets works too.

Oddly, marmite and honey is a good combo too: sweet and salt.

You really have to grow up eating Marmite. There is a critical period for acquiring a taste for it, and early exposure is essential.

Note: Vegemite and Marmite cannot be substituted for each other, despite superficial similarities. Even Marmite-loving Brits find Vegemite just tastes “wrong”, and Australians feel the same way about Marmite.

[petelittle@autistics.life]

@losttourist @cstross @tek I've been warning people for years. I have a theory. The fact that we've never been able to detect any extraterrestrial life out there is down to the theoretical "Great Filter" but I suspect rather than filtering out war-like species or species with a particular level of technology.. I propose that some technologically advanced species is destroying systems where the inhabitants have discovered Marmite or Marmite like substances.

Just like every species has its own variation of Gin and Tonics (jynnan tonnyx, gee-N'N-T'N-ix, or jinond-o-nicks) I calculate that at some point in a species development they become self destructive and invent a Marmite analogue and this is seen as an affront to the universe and must be erased.

Nature may abhor a vacuum but the universe really hates Marmite.

[dwm@mastodon.social]

@PeteLittle @losttourist @cstross @tek

But this should ensure our survival! Aliens now finally have a place with a lifeform that can usefully metabolise that toxic Marmite® and use that energy constructively, such as by making puns.

[petelittle@autistics.life]

@dwm @losttourist @cstross @tek the same humans that breathe an atmosphere that contains rocket fuel, chemically burn food within their bodies for energy (not to mention breaking it down first with strong corrosive acids) and regularly consume known poisonous substances for fun.. no wonder aliens avoid us.

50% of the population being able to process Marmite is just the nail in the coffin IMHO!

[geeksam@ruby.social]

@PeteLittle @dwm @losttourist @cstross @tek humans: this scary alien has TWO MOUTHS and ACID FOR BLOOD and will LAY ITS EGGS IN YOUR BODY

aliens: they eat marmite, full stop