If you comment "marry me" on one of my videos or a post online, I will block you.

[vkc@linuxmom.net]

@hobo_ahoi no, that's not funny. It's disturbing. People send me creepy things all the time- I don't need to add to it.

[vkc@linuxmom.net]

@gbsills NO. STOP THAT.

Telling me "don't share what happens" sweeps this shit under the rug. I need good people to STAND UP and GET IN THE WAY

[gbsills@social.vivaldi.net]

@vkc I honestly don't see how we can.

[loke@functional.cafe]

@vkc I watch a few female/run tech youtube channels, and while most comments are what you would expect from comments to videos by any male youtuber, you can be sure there are some of those.

It's funny, I'm pretty sure many of the people posting those comments don't even realise what they're doing. If called out on it, I'm pretty sure they'd say that they were just giving compliments.

As much as it pains me to admit it, if youtube had existed when I was 15, it's not out of the question that I would have done something similar, in the belief that I was somehow being a good guy.

Luckily, youtube did not exist then, and by the time it did, I had grown up. Sadly, plenty of people never grow up.

All I do these days is clicking on the report for harassment button every time I see it.

[gedvondur@hulvr.com]

@vkc Agreed.

[danimo@mastodon.social]

@vkc Wow, that kind of attitude isn't something I'd expect in the fediverse. On the other hand, given your follower count, it's probably just unavoidable statistical noise. 😬But WTF. would block too.

[vkc@linuxmom.net]

@danimo it's not unavoidable. It can be avoided by men standing up to other men.

[loke@functional.cafe]

@gedvondur @vkc A very, very common one is complimenting on the skills/intelligence/knowledge of the presenter, and also add a compliment to their physical appearance. No one does that with men (at least almost never).

[dotsie@mastodon.social]

@gbsills @vkc don’t advocate for a bystander effect on the freaking internet maybe is a start?!

Anonymity gives these assholes power and hey, guess what, anonymity can help you stand up when you see it happening so the author doesn’t have to defend themselves for *existing*

JUMP. IN. AND. HELP.

Do not normalize this. Do not minimize it. By Doing so *you are part of the problem*

Really reflect on this before you type more words. Seriously.

[dlundh@mastodon.nu]

@vkc right. Block early and often. 👍🏻

[dacmot@sunny.garden]

@vkc totally with you on this one. I try to call them out when I see them. Sorry you have to suffer through this daily 😞

I'm surprised by the amount and the seemingly never-ending stream of creeps... You'd think eventually it would die down. These creeps are creepily persistent.

[danimo@mastodon.social]

@vkc Okay, that kind of framing leaves room for improvement. I like that. My expectations of my fellow men are rather low in that regard.

[dunklecat@mastodon.dunklecat.dev]

@vkc @gbsills being silent is exactly what those people commenting want. No words about it, as it's not a problem that should and need to be discussed and addreesed in the public!

[younata@hachyderm.io]

@vkc 🤢🤮 I’m so sorry.

[dunklecat@mastodon.dunklecat.dev]

@vkc @gbsills that's good. Ask yourself what you can do. Ask harassed people what they would like to see. One of the little actions you can do is listen to the people explaining the problem, give them support, give them a space where they can talk about the problem. Make them feel listened, make them feel understood. That's a good starting point

[dacmot@sunny.garden]

Nobody ever got hurt throwing fuel on a fire, right @hobo_ahoi? It would be funny to try, right?

Think about what you're saying and the impact to those concerned before giving "advice."

@vkc

[me@gts.bo0.tz]

@gbsills what a lame, defeatist take

[noodlejetski@masto.ai]

@gbsills @vkc next you gonna tell her she was asking for it because of how she was dressed

[mlevison@agilealliance.social]

@vkc @danimo

I hear you. I would challenge the behaviour when I see it, but I miss the problems because I don’t see your replies.

I would like to be more supportive.

[nicksworld@mastodon.stickbear.me]

@Binder @vkc People actually do this? That's insanity. These people just sound like freaks.