How defibrillators work in movies:

[drmaddkap@meow.social]

How defibrillators work in movies:

“There’s no pulse. CLEAR! *zap* Oh thank God, he’s coming back.”

How defibrillators work in real life:

“He’s asystole. Call it. Time of death 5:23PM”

[book@beige.party]

@drmaddkap who hurt you?

[drmaddkap@meow.social]

@book The same person who decided to put “shot of adrenaline through the chest into the heart” as part of a movie.

That’s not life saving. That’s instant death. Rupture the heart wall, quick bleed out.

[eviljackcarver@meow.social]

@drmaddkap CPR in films: clean, pretty, reliable

CPR in real life: you probably just broke a rib, you're tired by the second set, and there's still no/weak pulse. Oh and that snoring? Yeah, that's agonal breathing. They're not back yet. Keep going.

[benhm3@saint-paul.us]

@eviljackcarver @drmaddkap

And the outcomes are terrible. No one walks out of the hospital IF they survive CPR.

I hate medical procedurals' clean endings.

[nerde@beige.party]

@drmaddkap @book
Sometimes I give myself a shot of adrenaline through the chest just to feel something

[petelittle@autistics.life]

@drmaddkap @book See also : Gunshot wounds in movies. Sure, that little dressing will fix you up nicely. Of course you'll be able to run, jump and fight with no issues what so ever :D

[junklight@mastodon.art]

@BenHM3 @eviljackcarver @drmaddkap so while the odds are terrible *I* did!

(Out of hospital cardiac arrest, CPR & defib by some Marines (randomly). Heart bypass. Walked (very slowly) out of the hospital three and a half weeks later. Still alive & kicking 7 years on)

[anxiousmac@mstdn.social]

@BenHM3 @eviljackcarver @drmaddkap Some survive, but not all that many. I do remember admitting a patient to ITU from the operating theatre recovery after a successful restart of his heart, thinking it would be doom and gloom in the morning. When I arrived, he was just getting back from the shower.

[drchaos@sauropods.win]

@PeteLittle @drmaddkap @book Black Knight: It's only a scratch!

[lispi314@udongein.xyz]

@drmaddkap Don't defibrilators do a lot fancier stuff than just that?

> “He’s asystole. Call it. Time of death 5:23PM”

"My Robot Buddy the Defibrillator" or something.

[cousinsd@mastodon.nz]

@drmaddkap @book

I injected adrenaline once, thanks Hunter S. Thompson. It floored me. I never did it again.

[mkj@social.mkj.earth]

@eviljackcarver I figure there's good reason why, in actual first aid classes covering CPR, the instructor will reiterate "keep doing CPR until the ambulance arrives and trained medics take over".

@drmaddkap

[digitalraven@retro.pizza]

@drmaddkap With all due respect, I say this as someone who spent twenty minutes dead and is only alive due to CPR and a defibrillator?

Bullshit.

[cstross@wandering.shop]

@digitalraven @drmaddkap You were insanely lucky! The survival rate for CPR/defib is not great: around 7-8% of patients on whom rescus is attempted survive to see hospital discharge.

It's still worth doing, but most media portrayals are very misleading.

[digitalraven@retro.pizza]

@cstross @drmaddkap I'm aware of how lucky I am, but 7-8% is way better than 0% and I'd rather people try than assume it won't ever work.

[toxy@mastodon.acc.sunet.se]

@drmaddkap Does sticking nails through one’s hand stave off death like in Bladerunner?

[gulfie@mastodonapp.uk]

@drmaddkap also in film: no broken ribs