My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.

[heinragas@mublog.nl]

@Buster @MxAlba That would make the transubstantiation not even a miracle -- you could make hosts of Jesus' _actual_ body.

[rockmastermike@beige.party]

@Buster "drink my blood" = wine. "Eat of my body" = bread

it all fits

[benh@mastodon.scot]

@Buster

I always interpreted the

> Feeding of the 5,000

as meaning that the food looks unappetising, and everyone pretended to eat it just to be polite.

my daughter has taught me that you can easily fill 12 baskets with food that has been artfully shredded to create the impression of eating it

[psneeze@mastodon.ie]

@Buster And he spread to 2.3 billion of the world's population of 8 billion which makes him a yeast infection.

[lasse@social.tchncs.de]

@Buster Yeastus Christ, you're right 😲!

[msbellows@c.im]

@agowa338 @Buster
The truth was hidden in plain sight right there in his own words, but no one ever realized it before!

“Again he asked, ‘What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into about thirty kilograms of flour until it worked all through the dough.’” – Luke 13:20-21

"Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.” – Mark 8:15

[agowa338@chaos.social]

@msbellows @Buster

Also fits in with people singing church songs* while cooking

* (as they didn't have clocks nor timers at home that's what they used to track the time in between steps, e.g. Step XYZ, sing 5 Ave Maria, ...)

Christianity is just a big cooking club.

[cadbury_moose@wandering.shop]

@Buster

Knud Axel Syrup[1]: "Judas, Yeast!".

[1] "The Makeshift Rocket" by Poul Anderson.

[lanaehforaday@universeodon.com]

@Buster

MIND

BLOWN

[lanaehforaday@universeodon.com]

Oh Jesus!

@psneeze @Buster

[bololacertus@mstdn.mx]

@Buster Now the part of "eat of this bread for it is my flesh" makes sense. It was not about zombies at all.

[nigenet@mastodon.social]

@Buster Now singing "Jesus was a sourdough starter" to the tune of Jerry Was A Racecar Driver by Primus 🙂

[yuvalne@433.world]

@Buster funnily enough, some fringe scholars do actually think Jesus was a type of fungus, though they use other (quite out there) arguments to get to that conclusion.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sacred_Mushroom_and_the_Cross?wprov=sfla1

[jasper@mastodon.nl]

@Buster 🍞 nom https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacramental_bread

[celesteh@hachyderm.io]

@Yuvalne @Buster

This is the plot to a Philip K Dick novel. It's one of my favourites.

[akamran@indieweb.social]

@psneeze @Buster ok that made me cackle out loud, thank god I'm alone atm

[amro@todon.nl]

@Buster Yeastus! 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

[ozzelot@mstdn.social]

@nigenet @Buster The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme also gets the job done.

[nickapos@mastodon.oncrete.uk]

@Buster I am pretty Jesus pronoun would be them

[travisfw@fosstodon.org]

@Buster in his book Entangled Life, Merlin Sheldrake has a section collecting theories about psychedelic fungi originating religions, connecting possession and enlightenment and so on.

Jesus was definitely a fun-gi.