I've been agonizing over posting this for like 46 minutes now.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

I've been agonizing over posting this for like 46 minutes now. It started as a reply to one of @FinalGirl's posts (as we're mutuals and her posts give me a glimpse into a side of Mastodon that I don't normally get to see).

So, the meat of what I want to say is that I'd love to have more Black folx in my day-to-day life. There's so much shit that I'm just not privy to because my circles are hella white...and that's fucked up.

At least on Fedi I get to hear about some of the issues the Black community faces, but I also feel like I can't do much other than *try* not to be one of the problematic white folx while boosting Black voices into my circles.

Why the agonizing? Because I know about the three types of Queer Ally™, and I assume Black folx deal with something similar.

- Type 1 is "okay with you being queer", but will probably vote against you if it lowers the price of eggs.

- Type 2 puts up a "love is love" sign and congratulates themselves on being such a good ally—they might even know some queer folx.

- Type 3 has queer friends and family because it's a normal thing to have, supports them like they would anyone they really cared about, and listens to queer voices in their lives when they say there are problems. They may not always "get it", but they actively try.

The problem is that the ratio of the three is like 100:10:1 (if I'm being *really* generous).

I want to be that third type. I worry that I'm that second type. But I know it's safest for Black folx to assume I'm the first type (or worse) because that's just how the numbers work—especially when the cost of misplaced trust is much higher than the benefit of a potential friend.

[linuxandyarn@mastodon.social]

@alice @FinalGirl I know I'm often clueless and the best thing I can do is try to be a better Becky.

[gina@fosstodon.org]

@LinuxAndYarn @alice same here