frankie: give me what you're eatingme: it's breadfrankie: cool.

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

me: you still have food
frankie: that is patently untrue
me: look
frankie: i am looking!
me:
[i pick up the bowl, shake it, and set it down]
frankie: holy shit

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

crissy: help! help! someone please! help! oh god! help me!!!
me: what's wrong?!
crissy: hah you fell for it again
me: dangit haven't you heard of the boy who cried wolf?
crissy: do i look like i have the cognitive architecture required to parse human speech to you?
me: yeah yeah...
crissy: dumbass

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

crissy: help! help! someone please! help! oh god! help me!!!
me: what's wrong?!
crissy: look at the size of that roach!
me: holy shit!
[after a protracted battle the evil is defeated]
crissy: wow great job
me: thanks for nothing. you could have killed it yourself you know
crissy:
crissy: why

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

me, lying in bed:
crissy, next to me:
me, lying in bed:
crissy, next to me:
me, picking up my phone: time to browse the internet
crissy, pressing her face to mine: LOOK AT ME RIGHT NOW

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

[in bed, i am the little spoon to crissy's big spoon as usual. Frankie jumps on the bed]
frankie: good evening, ladies
me: you have been fed. you have been fed and you know it
frankie: jeez way to assume the worst
me: sorry
frankie: you know i dont appreciate-- [pukes on the bed]

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

[i accidentally step on crissy's tail in the middle of the night]
crissy: ow!
me: oh no! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!
crissy: it's okay. accidents happen
me: I'm sorry!
crissy: i love you
me: i love you tooo

[i leave for two days then return]
crissy: ah you backstabbing bitch you have a lot of nerve showing your face around here
me: i love you
crissy: fuck yourself and die

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

frankie: biscuits?
me: no
frankie: but i looooooove you AND im not hungry this time! honestly!
me: no!
frankie: you let crissy make biscuits
me: crissy can make biscuits without sinking her claws into my boobs
frankie: okay but have you considered - how big my eyes are
me: hrm... i have to admit you have a point...

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

logic triumphs

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

me: what are you doing?
crissy: ....not honoring the trust between us.
me: there it is. you knew you weren't supposed to do that but you did it anyway
crissy: I have no excuse. I've disappointed you, and I've disappointed myself

me: what are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
frankie: sup
me: damn it can you at least have the decency to pretend to be ashamed?
frankie: ashamed of what?

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

me: im still mad at you
crissy: is that so
me: it is so. and dont bother acting contrite
crissy: i don't like the tone you're using
me: well i don't like you chewing my phone charger
crissy: you leave me no choice
me: right
crissy, literally phonating: mama. mama!
me: omg! yes i am your mama!!!
crissy: like taking candy from a baby

[xibanya@mastodon.xyz]

frankie: give me what you're eating
me: it's cheerios
frankie: i must have a cheerio
me: it's a form of bread. you don't like bread
frankie: can you just do this one thing? for me? please?
me: i got good news for you buddy
frankie: you're gonna give me a cheerio!
me: better. there is one on the ground next to you right now
frankie: oh
me: what "oh"? you were desperate for a cheerio, and now you have one
frankie:
frankie: give me what you're eating