I think i may need a break from mastodon.

[gloriouscow@oldbytes.space]

I think i may need a break from mastodon.

it is not an exaggeration to say that the majority of my feed is now just various anti-AI posts.

the people pushing AI aren't here. they are not on your Mastodon instance. When you post about how terrible and ignorant and stupid they are they do not see it, and it's not like that sort of thing persuades anyone even if they did.

I want to keep up with the cool stuff you are all making and doing. But I realize I am not entitled to just pick and choose from the things you find important enough to share, so I am not sure what else to do when I find that reading my feed no longer improves my mental health.

[cr1901@mastodon.social]

@gloriouscow Yea, maybe I should cool it. Anti AI posts get me acknowledgment and dopamine hit.

I want to gush more about Horse Girl Game, but no one else seems to want to play it. My other projects are stalled while I do CI maintenance (and I'm procrastinating on that too).

Tbh, I'm not doing too well, and I don't think a lot of my peers are either. And my living situation is _good_.

[saustrup@mstdn.dk]

@gloriouscow I feel you. Muting or forcing a content warning on people and tags helped me tremendously when I was gagging on foreign politics. There are so many other beautiful things here too.

[gloriouscow@oldbytes.space]

@cr1901

The one thing that probably has the most influence on our beliefs about people are our personal relationships with people different from us, and realizing that they are still people at the end of the day. I don't know why it seems to be a particular quirk of the human soul that we often need a personal example before we can feel empathy, but that seems to just be how it is.

I know people that use Claude or other tools, and that is costing me a lot of mental energy and quite a bit of cognitive dissonance. I know some of these these people are talented, passionate, intelligent people who got into coding for the same reasons we all did. We can believe they are ethically challenged, perhaps. but we are all flawed, messy creatures who make daily ethical compromises in some way.

I'm really honestly surprised that more people here don't personally know anyone that they hold in any regard whatsoever that use an LLM because it seems like I'm the only one struggling with trying to understand why people I know and respect can look at the ethical costs and shrug. (meanwhile vegans are like "lol, first time?")

I know what I'm seeing is the result of a lot of frustration and hopelessness. I don't personally know what to do about it, either. But I'm just worried that we never will as long as we abandon nuance in favor of a perpetual fediverse circlejerk.

I've pretty much disowned my family for their beliefs. I am not ready to give up a good chunk of my friends as well. I can't. I can't just sit here angry at the world, utterly alone.

[20000lbs_of_cheese@freeradical.zone]

@gloriouscow I mostly use the federated feed, and there are quite a few ai-pushers there, but I also just block them and move on, so I don't see them as often anymore.

On one hand I think the danger of AI is mostly being used to manufacture political and medical consent by rich folks, but on the other the folks getting laid off are mostly also rich folks who ruined the country with their fake, bullshit jobs and so on, so it's still a little funny, as a poor

[20000lbs_of_cheese@freeradical.zone]

@gloriouscow 'boo hoo my waymo won't get me to my air bnb' they can all go die in a fire lol

[cr1901@mastodon.social]

@gloriouscow I think your stance is reasonable. I think part of my problem is that I see using AI tools to build the future as a deeply personal attack on a worldview I hold dear ("maybe we shouldn't take our knowledge base for granted").

I've found AI stuff utterly hilarious before:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBHg832c_6I

God knows I'm not morally consistent 100% of the time (no one is).

[gloriouscow@oldbytes.space]

@cr1901

i can wax sixteen different ways of cynical about it.

I am not really so much concerned with the affect of software quality long-term as much as I am concerned with our eventual irrelevance.

That assumes a generous prediction of the trajectory of AI, of course. I do believe that AGI will be achieved, and I am absolutely convinced we have no plan for it whatsoever.

I think that people can actually use Copilot to review PRs without that being the end of open source itself and all of civilization, but it is a technological truce at best.

there's been a lot of discussion over what our motivations as programmers even are. I feel my sense of personal pride giving way to thoughts about my legacy and my lasting contributions to the world, and start to wonder, if AI could help me accomplish that, ... well, the intellectual opiate starts to smell temptingly sweet.

There is an undeniable jealousy to see the ease at which people can make their ideas real with a few prompts now.

What would probably help more than Claude is if I could stop starting projects I never fucking finish.

But everything I am struggling to make now feels like I am casting irrelevant, trivial detritus into the turbulent sea of an uncertain future.

oh, I gave the world a cycle-accurate 8088 emulator. I should get a goddamn nobel prize.

I miss feeling optimistic about our future, but I couldn't tell you the last time i did.

[lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow join us it's fun to take pot shots at the slop bots

[lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow @cr1901 "using" claude is blessed because it drains the enemies coffers. it's the paying for it that is cursed.

[lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow you should follow some pretty hashtags @aeva suggested this to me and it saved my life

[lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow i think i mean to say please stay i enjoy your presence

[gloriouscow@oldbytes.space]

@lritter @aeva

give me some pretty hashtags

[lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow @aeva #tokyocameraclub

[aeva@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow here's the list I gave @lritter https://mastodon.gamedev.place/@aeva/115947337211705540

[aeva@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow @lritter also I recommend # macrophotography (and the various non-english equivalents) though fair warning it has the occasional closeup on insects. my wife introduced me to that one last night :)

[cxiao@infosec.exchange]

@gloriouscow @cr1901 For myself, with regards to dealing with the cognitive dissonance, of watching technologists I personally know and admire adopt LLMs (some of which are on here, too, and who I am somewhat embarrassed to say have seen my unhinged anti-AI posts 😅):

I think this has been much easier for me to deal with, because my personal observation for a long time has been that technologists have a very weak sense of ethics. Both in the sense of having good ethics that I agree with, and in the sense of having thought about the subject of ethics at all. Most technologists have not sat down and decided what their moral boundaries are, and what the relationship of their own morality is to the technology they use or develop. Even very skilled ones that I have learned a lot from. Most people are content to think that technologies are value-neutral, and are content to follow the trend of what everyone else is doing.

I have observed brilliant technologists, long before LLMs, shrug at the ethics of many other things, so for me it is entirely believable that they shrug at the ethics of this, too. I don't think many of these people are inherently morally bad, but I do think that they just don't care. This is bad because I do think that people just following the trend into widespread AI adoption is an ethically bad outcome. However, I also think that as AI backlash increases, if the pendulum swings back to anti-AI being the norm in software: they will follow as well.

It is also the sad truth that for minority women in many computer fields, we must work with brilliant peers who are not necessarily bad people, but who by way of their privileged position in life will say and do ignorant things. We must see someone saying something hurtful, but not make a fuss about it, because it's not worth the time of having to personally educate that person, to deal with the backlash, or to be labelled as a "confrontational" person. And we must do this as well, for brilliant colleagues and mentors and people we admire, and that we learn a lot from. So in that sense, I am very well practiced at this kind of cognitive dissonance - I do it in order to preserve a career.

I hope this is maybe a little helpful for you, though this is only my personal experience. And if you do take a break, I hope it is a restful and rejuvenating one!

[gloriouscow@oldbytes.space]

@aeva @lritter

i would also like to see birds, and maybe foxes

[aeva@mastodon.gamedev.place]

@gloriouscow @lritter i don't know of any hash tags for those but i'd be astonished if there weren't any

[cr1901@mastodon.social]

@gloriouscow > What would probably help more than Claude is if I could stop starting projects I never fucking finish.

Yea, ain't that a f***ing mood. I joined the club, got the T-shirt, etc. Only advice I can give is "be kind to yourself" and "its a marathon, not a sprint. Cut off one hydra head at a time." I'm sure these are generic platitudes, but sometimes... they help more than you'd think.