Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[phooky@hexa.club]

@futurebird not enough room for a parallel port

[hopland@snabelen.no]

@futurebird it's for pumping Open Sauce. Don't mix up the cables now, or your laptop gets filled with ragoo.

[bryanredeagle@beige.party]

@futurebird It's a modular add on system a la 90s consoles. You put the microwave on a big base that also doubles as a DVD player or a dial up modem or a rumble pack.

[ciro_mango@mastodon.uno]

@futurebird to connect keybord and mouse to move it with wasd

[gdinwiddie@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Because not everything can be recharged with RF energy.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@futurebird you put your cereal into those ports. Two cheerios at the same time!

[jumpmed@mastodon.social]

@futurebird Download the codes for the nukes

[sanityinc@hachyderm.io]

@futurebird Every microwave oven is also an incredibly slow-spinning and inefficient usb hard disk

[bjorndown@mastodon.social]

@futurebird so you can upload a picture of the meal you want to heat up. from it the microwave will deduce how long the meal has to be heated until it is blazing hot outside and just about lukewarm in the middle.

[sitcom_nemesis@tech.lgbt]

@futurebird to enable loading of custom firmware so you can actually play doom on it

[bryan@dusty.ninja]

@futurebird
Good design.

[stealthytango@mastodon.world]

@futurebird if you plug the left one into the right one, the power goes round in circles providing unlimited free cooking - so long as you don't open the door and let the microwave escape.

[robertklaschka@mastodon.online]

@futurebird I am pretty sure you can download food on to a memory stick and then take it to another microwave to upload.

[bk1e@mastodon.social]

@futurebird to support USB Swanson-the-Go

[bk1e@mastodon.social]

@futurebird also the wire protocol is based on Bit Stouffer’s

[amxmln@mastodon.design]

@futurebird In case you need to fry something. 🙃

[martijn@scholar.social]

@futurebird How else are you going to fry your computing device?

[barneydellar@mastodon.scot]

@futurebird For sausages.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@StealthyTango

So. Bad news.

I opened the door and the microwave is under the couch in the teacher's lounge. Ideas to get it back in the box and heating my rice again?