I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi.
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Also, if you are having a lot of interactions with people acting in bad faith or harassing you, it is worth considering moving to an instance with stricter moderation or that blocks or restricts more problem instances.
Dicecamp has been great for me, but there are plenty of great ones out there.
I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).
"Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.
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I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).
"Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.
@artemis i agree, mastodon.social is too big, they attract too many trolls.
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And frankly, it's been slow, but I have seen a lot of people—including instance admins—responding to the suggestions & critiques of marginalized people.
It's not everyone & it's not enough, but it does fucking happen here. The hard conversations happen & at least *some* people try to make this better.
One thing I love about Fedi is that it *can become better.*
@artemis not my anxious ass going "Is today the day I finally send a small note to a popular person on a popular-but-problematic instance that their instance is problematic and they should consider moving off it because it'll likely only get worse and has already responded badly to criticism... Or am I just seeking the dopamine from a chaotic low-stakes online interaction. Again."
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@artemis not my anxious ass going "Is today the day I finally send a small note to a popular person on a popular-but-problematic instance that their instance is problematic and they should consider moving off it because it'll likely only get worse and has already responded badly to criticism... Or am I just seeking the dopamine from a chaotic low-stakes online interaction. Again."
@artemis (no it's not you/re instance)
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@artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators
Exactly. And the thing is, when you see other people responding in that way—asking for clarification instead of assuming the worst & apologizing when called out—it feels safer to do that yourself. I've become a lot better at just not responding with the first emotional thing that pops into my head & actually thinking "what would it look like to just talk to this person in a mutually respectful way?"
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@artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators
@afewbugs @artemis I semi-frequently give random internet strangers here a “like” when I see them apologize or course-correct, just to let them know that a random internet stranger approves of their ability to apologize or recognize that there’s a misunderstanding and maybe they’re at fault or can do better.
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@afewbugs @artemis I semi-frequently give random internet strangers here a “like” when I see them apologize or course-correct, just to let them know that a random internet stranger approves of their ability to apologize or recognize that there’s a misunderstanding and maybe they’re at fault or can do better.
@c0dec0dec0de @afewbugs
I've noticed that it's "popular" on here when people figure out their misunderstanding & apologize. Posts like that usually get a few faves. So yeah, I guess that's a small cultural thing that helps encourage that attitude. -
Also, if you are having a lot of interactions with people acting in bad faith or harassing you, it is worth considering moving to an instance with stricter moderation or that blocks or restricts more problem instances.
Dicecamp has been great for me, but there are plenty of great ones out there.
@artemis I love dice camp, both for the moderation and the content focus.
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I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi. For the most part now I am able to have serious conversations with people who share my values, without being constantly pulled into squabbles with assholes who are wasting my time.
@artemis Same. I got so tired of the drive-by snark and hostility that was just a cost of using those platforms, and using the Fediverse more has made me more comfortable just blocking and ignoring assholes who are wasting my time. -
undefined oblomov@sociale.network shared this topic
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@artemis I've seen more people genuinely apologise for a misunderstanding on here and then make up and move on than I have in all my time on algorithmic social media put together, where the incentive is to instead dunk on each other in an ever escalating argument for the clicks of spectators
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@artemis Same. I got so tired of the drive-by snark and hostility that was just a cost of using those platforms, and using the Fediverse more has made me more comfortable just blocking and ignoring assholes who are wasting my time.@artemis My experience online improved immensely when I decided that debating with me is a privilege reserved for those who already have a relationship with me.
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Exactly. And the thing is, when you see other people responding in that way—asking for clarification instead of assuming the worst & apologizing when called out—it feels safer to do that yourself. I've become a lot better at just not responding with the first emotional thing that pops into my head & actually thinking "what would it look like to just talk to this person in a mutually respectful way?"
@artemis @afewbugs I've done a couple of faux pas here when interacting with some interesting profiles. Some of them have given me the possibility to clarify my intentions, and I'll be always grateful for that. The ones that have just gone and blocked me … turns out they weren't particularly nice anyway.