I think one of the biggest changes in how I communicate online came after moving to Fedi.

[futuristicrobert@infosec.exchange]

@afewbugs @artemis

Heck, the fact that people even talk on here instead of yelling over each other... Like me here replying to you and agreeing with you how much the algo's just make things worse for everyone.

[artemis@dice.camp]

I especially recommend this if you're on mastodon social. I'm really glad you signed up & joined Fedi, but you may be able to find an even better corner to call your own (but do what you want—the point is it's your choice).

"Just move instances" is not a solution to systemic problems, but if you think you could personally have a better experience, it's a thing you can try.

[kali@discuss.systems]

@artemis i agree, mastodon.social is too big, they attract too many trolls.

[epilonious@toot.lgbt]

@artemis not my anxious ass going "Is today the day I finally send a small note to a popular person on a popular-but-problematic instance that their instance is problematic and they should consider moving off it because it'll likely only get worse and has already responded badly to criticism... Or am I just seeking the dopamine from a chaotic low-stakes online interaction. Again."

[epilonious@toot.lgbt]

@artemis (no it's not you/re instance)

[artemis@dice.camp]

@afewbugs

Exactly. And the thing is, when you see other people responding in that way—asking for clarification instead of assuming the worst & apologizing when called out—it feels safer to do that yourself. I've become a lot better at just not responding with the first emotional thing that pops into my head & actually thinking "what would it look like to just talk to this person in a mutually respectful way?"

[c0dec0dec0de@hachyderm.io]

@afewbugs @artemis I semi-frequently give random internet strangers here a “like” when I see them apologize or course-correct, just to let them know that a random internet stranger approves of their ability to apologize or recognize that there’s a misunderstanding and maybe they’re at fault or can do better.

[artemis@dice.camp]

@c0dec0dec0de @afewbugs
I've noticed that it's "popular" on here when people figure out their misunderstanding & apologize. Posts like that usually get a few faves. So yeah, I guess that's a small cultural thing that helps encourage that attitude.

[dejahentendu@dice.camp]

@artemis I love dice camp, both for the moderation and the content focus.

[spencer@motley.club]

@artemis Same. I got so tired of the drive-by snark and hostility that was just a cost of using those platforms, and using the Fediverse more has made me more comfortable just blocking and ignoring assholes who are wasting my time.

[jaredwhite@indieweb.social]

@afewbugs @artemis Yep, I've gotten into a flame war here once or twice with someone where we're completely at odds… Yet after a few exchanges, we end up having some meeting of the minds and no hard feelings. I'm always pleasantly surprised when that happens! Feels like the Internet at its finest.

[spencer@motley.club]

@artemis My experience online improved immensely when I decided that debating with me is a privilege reserved for those who already have a relationship with me.

[oblomov@sociale.network]

@artemis @afewbugs I've done a couple of faux pas here when interacting with some interesting profiles. Some of them have given me the possibility to clarify my intentions, and I'll be always grateful for that. The ones that have just gone and blocked me … turns out they weren't particularly nice anyway.