How I plan to spend the weekend, on the Rottentomatoes page for #Melania.

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

The Evening Standard has given it four (4) stars. Reminder that the Standard is a weekly freesheet owned by a Russian oligarch whose father was a KGB agent #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Variety, Daily Beast. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Literally just the Standard. Pricks. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

That’s the stuff. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

The Wrap, Decider (down to 7% now) #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

The Decider review is worth reading #Melania #USpol

https://decider.com/2026/01/30/melania-trump-documentary-movie-review/

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Sure, Jan. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

And everyone in the theatre stood up and applauded and a pregnant woman immediately gave birth and the baby came out applauding and then all the seats in the theatre came to life so they could applaud too and the tips of my fingers grew little hands of their own so they could applaud too and they themselves grew little hands on the tip of each tiny finger and we applauded and applauded and applauded until someone stopped applauding and they were dragged away and shot #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

The Irish Times #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

You gotta pump those numbers down those are rookie numbers.

Reminder that this would literally be 0% but for Evgeny Lebedev’s Standard. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Fuck me, the Standard has actually REVISED ITS REVIEW, knocked a star off the original four-star rating, and is corncobbing wildly. Look at this shit. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

#Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

One of those insightful audience reviews from someone who HASN’T BEEN TO THE CINEMA IN A DECADE. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Imagine nothing compelling you to go out to the cinema for 10 years but being dragged from your cinematic coffin by the fucking #Melania documentary, Jesus Christ. This fandom is both unhinged and cringe as anything. #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Please note that this review is being written by a creative: writer, pianist, singer,
perfectionist, lover of classical music and art. #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

Can you provide some more examples of “a classical art” please Monique? #Melania #USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

A second positive review has hit the #Melania rottentomatoes rating. It’s by the Epoch Times. What the fuck is the Epoch Times, you ask? Well…

Also, lol, “warmth and compassion”, and they chose that photo.

#USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

In case you think this is a purely political division, it‘s worth noting that even a shallow right wing rag with a readership of ancient bigots like the Daily Express gave #Melania a negative review.

#USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

The audience really enjoyed the scenes of #Melania filmed with a tiny surgical camera.

#USpol

[nickiquote@mstdn.social]

One (brown) star from Empire. #Melania #USpol