Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@admin

I often wonder what is wrong with that man and why it is wrong with me too. What happened to people like us? I think as I desolider and sort resistors from the computer I found in the trash.

[josh0@babka.social]

@futurebird they’re for external microwave emitters, so you can cook things that are too big to fit inside.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@josh0

NO.

[nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social]

@futurebird

Why are there usb ports on the microwave?

wrong answers only

I'm pretty sure "there are usb ports on the microwave" is already the wrong answer.

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@nazokiyoubinbou

Especially when it's A and not 12v C. pffffft.

[nazokiyoubinbou@urusai.social]

@futurebird You figure a microwave should toast the devices that are plugged in too?

[pointlessone@status.pointless.one]

@futurebird To load new dingtones.

[lexyeen@plush.city]

@futurebird Multiplayer mode. Any USB gamepad should do the trick.

[hoco@sfba.social]

@StealthyTango @futurebird seems legit

[futurebird@sauropods.win]

@hoco @StealthyTango

It's simple physics.

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@robertklaschka @futurebird yeah I don't believe it, because memory sticks taste exactly the same no matter what you download onto them.

[cppguy@infosec.space]

@futurebird

You connect one USB port directly to the other so that the microwave oven can power itself without needing a mains socket.

[doctormo@floss.social]

@futurebird @StealthyTango

Microwaves can be enticed out by microsurfboards and tiny tiny coloured shirts.

[log@mastodon.sdf.org]

@futurebird So the microwave can connect to the Internet while it's running the magnetron, because that interferes with the wifi. The microwave has to connect to the Internet to download security updates. It needs security updates because it is connected to the Internet.

One can also plug in one's phone and open the microwave app to use custom one-touch button programs such as "leg of goat roast", "tuna casserole with narrow egg noodles", and "tuna casserole with wide egg noodles".

[a2_4am@mastodon.social]

@llewelly @futurebird no, they are clearly USB ports, not cereal ports

[ulrikeheiss@eldritch.cafe]

@robertklaschka
This is my favorite explanation so far. @futurebird

[moss@beige.party]

@futurebird employee lounge microwaves are especially fond of fish

[llewelly@sauropods.win]

@a2_4am @futurebird the "universal" just means they can take lucky charms or count chocula or shredded wheat just as well.

[somesortofkreature@mstdn.party]

@futurebird To plug the Arch installer usb drive into it of course!

[jargoggles@kolektiva.social]

@futurebird
What the hell? Who's putting cereal in the microwave and how are there enough of them to justify making this feature?