I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before.

[naturepunk@ecoevo.social]

@alice I acknowledge that you, and others, have a different experience to a middle aged, white, 6 foot plus cis male :(

I wrote the code that tested the seat rails in the original Focus in my first software job. They are still everywhere like the arseholes making life difficult for people they see as different

By acknowledging we all have different experiences and listening when people share theirs we can make the world a little bit friendlier for all.

You just did that :)

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@k_leyton_cooper uh...what?

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@k_leyton_cooper again, uh...what?

[missqarnstein@eldritch.cafe]

@alice
There's also this specific mastodon phenomenon that the OP sees all replies while the rest only see's a fraction. So people can physically not see the harassment exposed e.g. women on this platform(s) here receive. Especially if their instances are blocking the offenders but not the one hosting the affected person.

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@skinnylatte 🫂

@tealeg

[drude@literatur.social]

@alice

There's a thought experiment (used in treatment of anxiety disorders, but that doesn't matter here): The therapist asks people to look for red stuff in the room. Like, which things here are red? Try to remember them all. Yes, all. Close your eyes. Now, which yellow things are in the room?

It's powerful in showing people how strongly our attention impacts what we notice and what we don't notice.

[lispi314@udongein.xyz]

@alice > A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.

> Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".

It's in DMs, how do they expect to see it?

[lispi314@udongein.xyz]

@Npars01@mstdn.social @bruce@darkmoon.social @bjb@fosstodon.org @alice@lgbtqia.space With HR of course being there to cover the company's ass and absolutely not being one's friend.

Reportedly they will even frequently side with the abusers.

suggestions for therapy,

Cauterizing or stitching a stab wound doesn't fix the fact there's someone going around stabbing people for shit & giggles. It's horrendous and ridiculous for that to happen.

Anything rather than addressing the problem.

[burnoutqueen@todon.nl]

@tknarr @alice

My own family members say things with racist subtext literally all the time

[burnoutqueen@todon.nl]

@tknarr @alice

It's the kind of racism that people ignore because it's the "polite" kind that isn't nazis and the KKK. It bothered me as a kid, and it bothers me now.

[thijs_goverde@mastodon.nl]

@alice
I don´t know what's worse, the fact that we, as a society, are in such a horrible place or the fact that we (again: as a society) have such a hard time *seeing* we're actually in that spot.

Ofc, if we really saw it we probably wouldn't be there.

[ketmorco@fosstodon.org]

@alice as a cis white male growing up in USA, I can unequivocally agree.

I think I've always seen bigotry, a little, but the micro aggressions, the constant everyday bias, was less visible.

Until I noticed it in myself.

And realized at twenty something that nothing was gone. Except perhaps some overtly legal protection for bigotry.

But now that I know where to look? Everywhere!

[arh@blackstar.cafe]

@lispi314 @alice i guess the assumption is that you'd see that in your own dms

[lispi314@udongein.xyz]

@arh @alice That'd really only happen if you have the same kind of reach & presentation though.

[nigelharpur@musicians.today]

@alice @DJGummikuh

Very well put.
I hear all those comments and many similar quite often in the conversations of people that pass by my table as I have my morning coffee.

[arh@blackstar.cafe]

@lispi314 @alice yeah, but it's also the only way you can see that (unless someone is posting their messages publicly)

[k_leyton_cooper@mastodon.social]

@alice
Just satirical comments on Ur "Coming of Age" tales (which I think are hilarious)❗️ 😂😃

[tknarr@mstdn.social]

@AlexanderVI @alice Not very often, and usually not more than once. Worst case, twice.

Sometimes I don't recognize it until someone else calls it out, but you learn new things all the time and I count that call-out as "once".

[alice@lgbtqia.space]

@arh @lispi314 the point is that they don't see it until it happens to them, and until it happens to them (if it ever does), it's easy to dismiss it as not being the huge pervasive problem it is.

[coleens_@infosec.exchange]

@alice dang, I'm sorry A 🖤