I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before.
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Just to be explicit, that post was about how all the institutionalized/everyday/inherent sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, etc. is invisible to most folx until it directly impacts them.
Just like I don't see 99% of the racism that #BlackMastodon does until someone points an example out to me, and just like I would've told you that I don't know anyone who drives a red Ford Focus until I started driving one myself.
It's fucking everywhere...
And to those it affects, it's just the background noise of existing while black/queer/femme/disabled/neurodivergent, and so on.
There is something in the way our pattern recognition works that causes this (excepting many neurodivergent folx) in order to prevent us being overwhelmed.
As an autistic person I can attest to the distress that noticing "everything" can cause! So it would seem that this evolutionary trait is a double edged sword.
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There's an expression in German that translates as "an end in terror is better than terror without end", and it kind of applies here.
There is no end, really.
But fighting through this denial, however unpleasant it is, is way, way easier than having to keep pretending on a daily basis that the world other people experience is not real.
I genuinely think that if you read @alice 's post, and your brain does "maybe, but...", that you're better off stopping right there and facing this.
Selfishly.@alice Oh, and you'll play a role in helping others.
In the grand scheme of things, that matters more, sure. But not when you're fully immersed in that river in Egypt.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice I totally bear with you here.
I completely understand that subjects so far as lactose intolerance and a car model can be related because I do it all the time and no one follows me, not even my latest therapist. -
@alice @DJGummikuh It's also all of us tbh, if you are genuinely convinced you have never done at the very least a microaggression to a minority you're not a part of, you have not done enough work deconstructing your bias to notice. And that's a call to action for people, inform yourself!
@GLaDTheresCake @alice full ack.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice
Hmm... it's just possible U may want to upgrade to a Ford Mustang or Dodge Charger -- U'r definitely lacking SPICE-in-Ur-life❗️😃 -
Just to be explicit, that post was about how all the institutionalized/everyday/inherent sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, etc. is invisible to most folx until it directly impacts them.
Just like I don't see 99% of the racism that #BlackMastodon does until someone points an example out to me, and just like I would've told you that I don't know anyone who drives a red Ford Focus until I started driving one myself.
It's fucking everywhere...
And to those it affects, it's just the background noise of existing while black/queer/femme/disabled/neurodivergent, and so on.
@alice
Yeah, that red Ford Focus is skewing Ur outlook just a tad❗️🙄👀 -
@disorderlyf @alice oh yeah the structure of the Fediverse compounds systemic blindness significantly. Even for trivial things we have very different views of what happens here. Even more so than on the commercial silos.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice We've got an EV, and my husband often says, "Look at that EV over there." and I always reply "Where?" because to me it's just another car.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice I get this very thing reading lactose "intolerance" as a vegan xD
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@alice yup. I’m an immigrant in Germany, but an affluent, white, CIS, male and a native English speaker. I’ve never been subject to xenophobia. Hell, I’ve even been actively courted by AfD canvassers.
It would be easy for me to believe this evil doesn’t exist in Germany, but I speak to colleagues who hail from Africa or Asia. Their life looks quite different to mine. The same for women, trans folks, people with facial tattoos, …
Privilege is often invisible when you have it.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice I acknowledge that you, and others, have a different experience to a middle aged, white, 6 foot plus cis male :(
I wrote the code that tested the seat rails in the original Focus in my first software job. They are still everywhere like the arseholes making life difficult for people they see as different
By acknowledging we all have different experiences and listening when people share theirs we can make the world a little bit friendlier for all.
You just did that :)
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@alice
Hmm... it's just possible U may want to upgrade to a Ford Mustang or Dodge Charger -- U'r definitely lacking SPICE-in-Ur-life❗️😃@k_leyton_cooper uh...what?
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@alice
Yeah, that red Ford Focus is skewing Ur outlook just a tad❗️🙄👀@k_leyton_cooper again, uh...what?
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Just to be explicit, that post was about how all the institutionalized/everyday/inherent sexism, racism, homophobia, bigotry, etc. is invisible to most folx until it directly impacts them.
Just like I don't see 99% of the racism that #BlackMastodon does until someone points an example out to me, and just like I would've told you that I don't know anyone who drives a red Ford Focus until I started driving one myself.
It's fucking everywhere...
And to those it affects, it's just the background noise of existing while black/queer/femme/disabled/neurodivergent, and so on.
@alice
There's also this specific mastodon phenomenon that the OP sees all replies while the rest only see's a fraction. So people can physically not see the harassment exposed e.g. women on this platform(s) here receive. Especially if their instances are blocking the offenders but not the one hosting the affected person. -
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
There's a thought experiment (used in treatment of anxiety disorders, but that doesn't matter here): The therapist asks people to look for red stuff in the room. Like, which things here are red? Try to remember them all. Yes, all. Close your eyes. Now, which yellow things are in the room?
It's powerful in showing people how strongly our attention impacts what we notice and what we don't notice.
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I'm not a car person, so I never really paid attention to car makes or models before. Sure, I knew that there were Hondas and Hyundais, but unless someone was actively pointing them out, I couldn't tell you which was which.
Then I became the owner of a little red Ford Focus, and I started driving it around.
Next thing I knew, I was spotting them *everywhere*. I'd come out of the grocer and there'd be identical ones parked on both sides of me! Hell, I eventually got a window decal so I could more easily tell which was mine 😋
A couple years ago I discovered I was lactose intolerant, and—bear with me, these stories are connected—I started keeping lactaid with me wherever I went (just to be safe). I started paying attention to just how much dairy was in things, and wow, spoiler: it's in like *everything* 😅
Over the past couple years, I've gotten pretty used to being lactose intolerant. I keep lactase handy, and I watch out for things with "too much dairy". It's just become background noise—like noticing other Ford Focuses (Foci?). It's just part of my life now.
A couple months ago I got propositioned by a creep in my hotel's lobby.
A couple weeks ago I had slurs yelled at me as I walked down the street with my mom.
A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
@alice > A couple days ago someone told me to kill myself in a DM.
> Every day, someone says "really? I don't see stuff like that here".
It's in DMs, how do they expect to see it? -
Efforts to discuss examples of bigotry or harassment will often get you redirected to HR or suggestions for therapy, that's how bad the deliberate blindness of privilege works
The physical health problems that arise from social ecosystems of unacknowledged white supremacy.
People with high blood sugars & pre-diabetes despite good dietary & exercise habits.
Young POC with heart attacks.
Cortisol overload from the stress of being in an environment of unwarranted hate
@Npars01@mstdn.social @bruce@darkmoon.social @bjb@fosstodon.org @alice@lgbtqia.space With HR of course being there to cover the company's ass and absolutely not being one's friend.
Reportedly they will even frequently side with the abusers.
suggestions for therapy,
Cauterizing or stitching a stab wound doesn't fix the fact there's someone going around stabbing people for shit & giggles. It's horrendous and ridiculous for that to happen.
Anything rather than addressing the problem.
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@alice It's a matter of viewpoint. As a white person, I don't attract racism against blacks. I only see it when I happen to cross paths with a black person at just the right time to see it directed at them. That black person, though, sees it EVERY TIME it's directed at them. We're both seeing the same world, but from two radically different viewpoints due to our different skin colors. Too many people don't take that into account.
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Gli ultimi otto messaggi ricevuti dalla Federazione
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Sì, lo so. Per questo sorelle e fratelli di futuroprossimo, non possiamo mollare, voi a scrivere e io a leggere. ;))
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Benvenuta di Mario Benedetti (Uruguay, 1920 – 2009)
Mi salta in mente che arriverai diversa
non propriamente più bella
né più forte
né più docile
né più cauta
è solo che arriverai diversa ... https://cctm.website/mario-benedetti-benvenuta/#MarioBenedetti #poesia #cctmwebsite #anoipiaceleggere #leggere #amore
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@jackdaniel You should make a bumper sticker "Moore's law is my garbage collector".
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Comunque logo pazzesco, secondo solo al trefoil della adidas
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Partiti ora da FI con 35 minuti di ritardo (rispetto ai 15 annunciati, CVD) e già fermi di nuovo.
Il candidato indichi, con parole sue,quanti saranno stasera i minuti di ritardo?
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@skeletor I don’t wanna rock… Deejay… but you’re making me feel so nice… 🎶
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@ballalloi non sapevo che Giorgio La Malfa fosse ancora vivo.
Un tempo erano erano liberali di sinistra e anticlericali, mazziniani e antifascisti, poi dopo l'avvento della repubblica divennero un partitino centrista e liberale. Oggi non saprei, però ho appena scoperto che a parte esistere e fare convegni si presentano anche alle elezioni
https://it.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partito_Repubblicano_Italiano#Elezioni_politiche_del_2022,_europee_del_2024_e_regionali_del_2024-2025
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@DigiDavidex @mahteo daje, che culo XD
Mi ricorda la storia di un uomo con un biglietto aereo, vediamo se la trovo...
