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I lost a friend over my article about the murder of Renee Nicole Good.

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  • I lost a friend over my article about the murder of Renee Nicole Good.

    He was angry I called out the underlying misogyny.

    He was mad I didn’t give ICE the benefit of the doubt.

    He made it personal.

    He told me my “stupid clown hair” is why people don’t take me seriously

    Everything he said to me was dripping with disdain and misogyny.

    There was no debate.

    There was no respectful disagreement.

    In under five minutes he had attacked my intelligence, my politics, my appearance and my writing.

    This is not normal behaviour.

    He literally proved my point.

    Had I taken the bait I’m convinced that I would have been called a “f*cking b*tch” by the end of the conversation.

    This is what MAGA is doing to men.

    It’s emboldening them.

    It’s validating their bigotry.

    I assume this person was always hateful and misogynistic on some level … but now he no longer feels he has to hide it.

    He literally said as much.

    He said “I never told you in the past because I wasn’t allowed. Now I am.”

    Why is he allowed to tell me now??

    Why does he feel justified in lashing out with rage and insults over something that has nothing to do with him?

    It’s because of what happened to Renee Nicole Good.

    We all watched a woman get shot in broad daylight and there’s been zero consequences

    We’ve watched rapists, pedophiles and abusers go free for years.

    Every woman who’s ever experienced abuse knew exactly what Jonathan Ross meant when he said “f*cking b*tch”

    He didn’t fear for his life.

    He was enraged she didn’t fear for hers.

    My friend was enraged I dare speak out for a “lesbian leftist”.

    He was enraged I didn’t remain silent, complicit and demure.

    He was apparently also enraged I didn’t realize he hated my hair and change it to please him.

    Make no mistake, there is a war against women going on.

    This regime wants to make us “less than”.

    They want us afraid.

    They want us in the home serving our husbands and having children.

    They want us seen and not heard.

    They don’t want us resisting.

    Which is why we must keep speaking out.

    We must refuse to go back.

    My life is better off without this person in it, and thankfully I can walk away.

    Not everyone can.

    Speak up if you see someone being hurt.

    Protect your friends and neighbours.

    Challenge misogynistic talking points.

    Demand justice for Renee Nicole Good.

    Don’t cower. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up.

  • I lost a friend over my article about the murder of Renee Nicole Good.

    He was angry I called out the underlying misogyny.

    He was mad I didn’t give ICE the benefit of the doubt.

    He made it personal.

    He told me my “stupid clown hair” is why people don’t take me seriously

    Everything he said to me was dripping with disdain and misogyny.

    There was no debate.

    There was no respectful disagreement.

    In under five minutes he had attacked my intelligence, my politics, my appearance and my writing.

    This is not normal behaviour.

    He literally proved my point.

    Had I taken the bait I’m convinced that I would have been called a “f*cking b*tch” by the end of the conversation.

    This is what MAGA is doing to men.

    It’s emboldening them.

    It’s validating their bigotry.

    I assume this person was always hateful and misogynistic on some level … but now he no longer feels he has to hide it.

    He literally said as much.

    He said “I never told you in the past because I wasn’t allowed. Now I am.”

    Why is he allowed to tell me now??

    Why does he feel justified in lashing out with rage and insults over something that has nothing to do with him?

    It’s because of what happened to Renee Nicole Good.

    We all watched a woman get shot in broad daylight and there’s been zero consequences

    We’ve watched rapists, pedophiles and abusers go free for years.

    Every woman who’s ever experienced abuse knew exactly what Jonathan Ross meant when he said “f*cking b*tch”

    He didn’t fear for his life.

    He was enraged she didn’t fear for hers.

    My friend was enraged I dare speak out for a “lesbian leftist”.

    He was enraged I didn’t remain silent, complicit and demure.

    He was apparently also enraged I didn’t realize he hated my hair and change it to please him.

    Make no mistake, there is a war against women going on.

    This regime wants to make us “less than”.

    They want us afraid.

    They want us in the home serving our husbands and having children.

    They want us seen and not heard.

    They don’t want us resisting.

    Which is why we must keep speaking out.

    We must refuse to go back.

    My life is better off without this person in it, and thankfully I can walk away.

    Not everyone can.

    Speak up if you see someone being hurt.

    Protect your friends and neighbours.

    Challenge misogynistic talking points.

    Demand justice for Renee Nicole Good.

    Don’t cower. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up.

    @broadwaybabyto You didn't lose a friend. Period.

    Acquaintance, Contact, Some Guy, but that kind of reaction can't come from a friend.

  • I lost a friend over my article about the murder of Renee Nicole Good.

    He was angry I called out the underlying misogyny.

    He was mad I didn’t give ICE the benefit of the doubt.

    He made it personal.

    He told me my “stupid clown hair” is why people don’t take me seriously

    Everything he said to me was dripping with disdain and misogyny.

    There was no debate.

    There was no respectful disagreement.

    In under five minutes he had attacked my intelligence, my politics, my appearance and my writing.

    This is not normal behaviour.

    He literally proved my point.

    Had I taken the bait I’m convinced that I would have been called a “f*cking b*tch” by the end of the conversation.

    This is what MAGA is doing to men.

    It’s emboldening them.

    It’s validating their bigotry.

    I assume this person was always hateful and misogynistic on some level … but now he no longer feels he has to hide it.

    He literally said as much.

    He said “I never told you in the past because I wasn’t allowed. Now I am.”

    Why is he allowed to tell me now??

    Why does he feel justified in lashing out with rage and insults over something that has nothing to do with him?

    It’s because of what happened to Renee Nicole Good.

    We all watched a woman get shot in broad daylight and there’s been zero consequences

    We’ve watched rapists, pedophiles and abusers go free for years.

    Every woman who’s ever experienced abuse knew exactly what Jonathan Ross meant when he said “f*cking b*tch”

    He didn’t fear for his life.

    He was enraged she didn’t fear for hers.

    My friend was enraged I dare speak out for a “lesbian leftist”.

    He was enraged I didn’t remain silent, complicit and demure.

    He was apparently also enraged I didn’t realize he hated my hair and change it to please him.

    Make no mistake, there is a war against women going on.

    This regime wants to make us “less than”.

    They want us afraid.

    They want us in the home serving our husbands and having children.

    They want us seen and not heard.

    They don’t want us resisting.

    Which is why we must keep speaking out.

    We must refuse to go back.

    My life is better off without this person in it, and thankfully I can walk away.

    Not everyone can.

    Speak up if you see someone being hurt.

    Protect your friends and neighbours.

    Challenge misogynistic talking points.

    Demand justice for Renee Nicole Good.

    Don’t cower. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up.

    @broadwaybabyto I shut a guy out of my life in 2015 when I dared critique Trump and the "friend" in question outed himself as an arrogant misogynist right-winger. Good fucking riddance.

  • @broadwaybabyto You didn't lose a friend. Period.

    Acquaintance, Contact, Some Guy, but that kind of reaction can't come from a friend.

    @CosminOprescu @broadwaybabyto

    That was my first reaction, too. “You’ve lost the illusion of a friend “.

    But I couldn’t stop thinking about this. You see, I was in love with a man for years who really tried to be nice. Intellectually, he was all for equal rights, praised achievements of women etc. Just not mine.

    It took me years to realise that his socialisation was in the way of his cognitive understanding. Equality was fine on an abstract level, but his feelings around the woman in front of him told him he was entitled to interrupt me, lecture me about my “mistakes” rather than compliment me on my achievements, to make decisions about things that weren’t his business… the list goes on.

    So he walked like a sexist, talked like a sexist, the only thing that made him believe he wasn’t one was the fact that it’s not something he wanted to be. His self-image needed him to be on the right side.

    When I called him out on his behaviour he got angry. He didn’t want to look at it, he didn’t want to change, he just didn’t want to be called something that our culture says is bad.

    I think what we see in your friend and many others is the realisation that life immediately becomes very easy if being a misogynist suddenly is acceptable. You can align your emotions with your self-image again just by dropping that one value of equality, and subscribe to male white superiority again.

    And that’s the damage that the convicted felon who has convinced enough people he should be president, and the people he has gathered around him to rule your country, are doing to our culture. They make patriarchy great again.

    Let’s not let them get away with it!

    1/2

  • @CosminOprescu @broadwaybabyto

    That was my first reaction, too. “You’ve lost the illusion of a friend “.

    But I couldn’t stop thinking about this. You see, I was in love with a man for years who really tried to be nice. Intellectually, he was all for equal rights, praised achievements of women etc. Just not mine.

    It took me years to realise that his socialisation was in the way of his cognitive understanding. Equality was fine on an abstract level, but his feelings around the woman in front of him told him he was entitled to interrupt me, lecture me about my “mistakes” rather than compliment me on my achievements, to make decisions about things that weren’t his business… the list goes on.

    So he walked like a sexist, talked like a sexist, the only thing that made him believe he wasn’t one was the fact that it’s not something he wanted to be. His self-image needed him to be on the right side.

    When I called him out on his behaviour he got angry. He didn’t want to look at it, he didn’t want to change, he just didn’t want to be called something that our culture says is bad.

    I think what we see in your friend and many others is the realisation that life immediately becomes very easy if being a misogynist suddenly is acceptable. You can align your emotions with your self-image again just by dropping that one value of equality, and subscribe to male white superiority again.

    And that’s the damage that the convicted felon who has convinced enough people he should be president, and the people he has gathered around him to rule your country, are doing to our culture. They make patriarchy great again.

    Let’s not let them get away with it!

    1/2

    @nellie_m @CosminOprescu @broadwaybabyto I've known plenty of men who seemed pretty egalitarian in the workplace and even in gender diverse social settings like bars or parties, men who even spoke up at work about sexist policies or called out sexist behavior on the subway, then been absolutely shocked when I met their wives or girlfriends and witnessed totally patriarchal interactions.

  • @nellie_m @CosminOprescu @broadwaybabyto I've known plenty of men who seemed pretty egalitarian in the workplace and even in gender diverse social settings like bars or parties, men who even spoke up at work about sexist policies or called out sexist behavior on the subway, then been absolutely shocked when I met their wives or girlfriends and witnessed totally patriarchal interactions.

    @nellie_m @CosminOprescu @broadwaybabyto They tend to be pretty good at making their wife look like the bad one: she's no fun, always "nagging" him (a man accusing a woman of nagging is always a gender-coded red flag), crushing him by sacrificing her body to have their baby and them expecting his participation in the care work. Maybe many wives are sticks in the mud - because they got tricked into this oppressive situation where someone they thought would be a partner is kneeling on their neck.

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  • I lost a friend over my article about the murder of Renee Nicole Good.

    He was angry I called out the underlying misogyny.

    He was mad I didn’t give ICE the benefit of the doubt.

    He made it personal.

    He told me my “stupid clown hair” is why people don’t take me seriously

    Everything he said to me was dripping with disdain and misogyny.

    There was no debate.

    There was no respectful disagreement.

    In under five minutes he had attacked my intelligence, my politics, my appearance and my writing.

    This is not normal behaviour.

    He literally proved my point.

    Had I taken the bait I’m convinced that I would have been called a “f*cking b*tch” by the end of the conversation.

    This is what MAGA is doing to men.

    It’s emboldening them.

    It’s validating their bigotry.

    I assume this person was always hateful and misogynistic on some level … but now he no longer feels he has to hide it.

    He literally said as much.

    He said “I never told you in the past because I wasn’t allowed. Now I am.”

    Why is he allowed to tell me now??

    Why does he feel justified in lashing out with rage and insults over something that has nothing to do with him?

    It’s because of what happened to Renee Nicole Good.

    We all watched a woman get shot in broad daylight and there’s been zero consequences

    We’ve watched rapists, pedophiles and abusers go free for years.

    Every woman who’s ever experienced abuse knew exactly what Jonathan Ross meant when he said “f*cking b*tch”

    He didn’t fear for his life.

    He was enraged she didn’t fear for hers.

    My friend was enraged I dare speak out for a “lesbian leftist”.

    He was enraged I didn’t remain silent, complicit and demure.

    He was apparently also enraged I didn’t realize he hated my hair and change it to please him.

    Make no mistake, there is a war against women going on.

    This regime wants to make us “less than”.

    They want us afraid.

    They want us in the home serving our husbands and having children.

    They want us seen and not heard.

    They don’t want us resisting.

    Which is why we must keep speaking out.

    We must refuse to go back.

    My life is better off without this person in it, and thankfully I can walk away.

    Not everyone can.

    Speak up if you see someone being hurt.

    Protect your friends and neighbours.

    Challenge misogynistic talking points.

    Demand justice for Renee Nicole Good.

    Don’t cower. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up.

    This was the article that enraged him.
    I didn’t send it to him.
    I didn’t invite him to read it.
    He was enraged I dared to stand up for Renee at all:

    https://www.disabledginger.com/p/misogyny-murder-and-renee-nicole


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