Linux? Pah! All the power of the digital world at your fingertips and... it can't hibernate properly.
macOS? This dude won't even let me install whatever programs I want without a whole song and dance routine. Is this a general purpose computer or a little etch a sketch for kids?
Windows? Don't even get me started on this spyware crap that's holding multiple industries hostage. After the revolution, no one will even want to use windows.