Alone Season 4 watch thread.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

We got a tough guy. Not gonna make it.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

He said, "As a man, blah blah blah" in like five different ways in 3 minutes, and subtly insinuated his son is not a real man. Not gonna make it.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

These folks are doing everything other than setting up a signal fire for their partner? Oh, you're foraging mushrooms? Good, good, perhaps they'll communicate across the island through their mycelial network and the other mushrooms will tell your husband where you are.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

Josh and Brad are babies, they are not gonna make it. Within minutes of arrival, the "stay put" partner has already wandered off into the woods and got injured, failing to "stay put" and also failing, in general. I don't know what the other one is doing, probably being eaten by a bear.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

Josh: "Never thought I'd be the guy to tap out on the first day."

Don't worry, Josh, I thought you would be.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

Now she's talking to the eagles instead of making a signal fire. I don't speak eagle, but I assume she was telling them to find her husband and lead him to her. Good plan, Brooke.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

That said, Brooke does seem to know her way around the woods. A bit of an overreaction to a wolf being nearby, but she didn't do anything foolish in response.

Seeing that we have at least one notably weak link in most of these teams, I think this is going to be a short season.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

That's right, rinse the limpet in the dirty creek water before you eat it.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

So soon?

Aw, man, I really wanted the Tough Guy to be the one that had to call for help (and he would have, the tough guys always fail pretty quick), rather than his son. That would have been amazing television and might have fixed him so he could have a decent relationship with his son.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

This season is uncomfortable. You've got people who really want to be there and people who really don't, and the latter came to make the former happy and then they found out what it actually meant and changed their mind real quick. Poor Logan. His dad is so angry and disappointed and the only thing keeping him from unloading on his son is the cameras.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

You have to make a phone call to leave, so I would 100% win, because I am not making a phone call under any circumstances.

[bryan@dusty.ninja]

@swelljoe
Your BMI can fall below X% during a health check (don’t know how dynamic that is for gender/height/weight/age). Or forget radio, get injured, and die. Plenty of ways to still lose!

[swelljoe@mas.to]

@bryan I am in peak physical condition for Alone: Chubby but fit. Come winter, I'm 25 pounds ahead of the competition.

And, I'm not gonna build a boat.

Honestly, it wouldn't be fair to the other contestants to put me on Alone. (OK, I would probably die.)

[bryan@dusty.ninja]

@swelljoe
I would love to know someone who went on the show… so I highly encourage you to do it. Mastodon is probably the loosest relationship tier but I’ll take it. 😆

Even if you tap out I’m with you if you stay honest. Don’t say some BS like not caring about winning or have nothing to prove. Just state you let everyone down, ultimately wasted a slot in the competition, and deserve the loss. Be honest 😂

Maybe being honest about the bitter loss will get you invited back for a retry season…

[swelljoe@mas.to]

@bryan I don't know what I'd do with my dogs and cat. It'd cost a fortune to board them in a nice place for three months (it's a lot of dogs). I think I'd actually do OK, though. Not bothered by being alone in the woods for a long time...I've done it many times, I like the quiet and solitude. I'd want a book or two, which apparently you can't have, but I'd get by.

But, also, it still looks like a miserable experience, and it's getting more miserable every season with stronger contestants.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

OK, genuinely what the fuck is up with nobody building a signal fire? Are they not allowed? Everyone is still wandering around five(?) days in? I thought 3/7 pairs still being lost after the first day would be a funny failure. But, all of them being lost for days and two pairs already going home?

They're not sending their best this season.

[swelljoe@mas.to]

One dude cooked a slug, though, so it can't be against the rules. So, why aren't they all keeping a smoky fire going all day?

[swelljoe@mas.to]

Lordy, we're about to lose another pair to an injury in the woods. Poor judgment all around this season. I knew it was going to be a short season, but this is ridiculous. I don't think any of the pairs have even met up yet?

[swelljoe@mas.to]

Brooke is doing a monologue to the creatures of the woods. I cant believe she's going to be one of the winners (but I think she is, because everybody else is such a mess).

[bryan@dusty.ninja]

@swelljoe
It’s quite the dynamic when two starving people are together trying to make decisions about base camp, shelter, cooking, activities, and projects.