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She offered to row the old wizard and the young king out on the lake.

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    The time traveller closed the book and stared blankly ahead. "So," said the author, "was that what-""No! That wasn't at all- It's a warning!""Allegorical, but y-""It's not you I need to kill, it's the person who read this and still wanted to build the Torment Nexus!""Kill?""I must go!"#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #TormentNexus
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    I was raking leaves on the lawn when I uncovered the god."Leave me alone!" it commanded. "I'm decomposing.""Oh," I said. "Will it take long?""Unless I find a believer...""I'm an atheist.""Hmph. I'll be gone by spring.""Shall I cover you?""I command it!"I'll check that pile in spring.#MicroFiction #TootFic #SmallStories #SmallGods
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    The black dragon landed in the middle of the village. 'The mountain is my home now! Give me a maiden every month or I'll destroy everything!'A small man in official wear walked up to it with a clipboard. 'Excuse me, have you applied for a permit to build a home?''Huh? What-''And although humans are not specified, if you mean to eat the maiden you will need a hunting license.''But-''Then there's the communal tax. Do you have a fixed income?'The dragon was already gone.#MicroFiction
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    @microfiction #microfiction Interviewer: So I assume you're adept at all Office products, right?Me: All except PowerPoint.Interviewer: What do you mean? Everybody knows how to use PowerPoint.Me: I'm sure I could figure it out. F1 brings up the help menu. It's how I learned the other modules in the Office suite. I just hate PowerPoint. It's garbage. Nobody should use it. Ever. Have IT delete it off all your computers.Interviewer: What? How would you give a presentation then?Me: I don't know. It's been a long time since I took Public Speaking. Tell you what--give me a topic and a week to prepare and I'll come up with a creative presentation that will actually keep people engaged.Interviewer: You took Public Speaking?Me: Yes. Of course. Isn't that kind of a basic requirement if you want to call yourself educated? And, I mean, it's not easy to learn on your own. If you're gonna get up and sing the ABC song at the salad bar at Shoney's, you better do it at the end of your meal 'cuz they're gonna throw you out. I did that once, y'know.Interviewer: You did? Why?Me: Lost a bet. My boss was a prick.Interviewer: Well, you're either getting the job or referred to the FBI for heavy surveillance. Probably both. Welcome aboard!